Tag: odd

Gothic Lace Bat Ornament

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Gothic Lace Bat Ornament
Here’s some gothic lace for ya gothic face! To display in ya gothic place! Or ya gothic space. Just look at how awesome this thing is. This Gothic Lace Bat Ornament is sexy and lacey. It looks like the wings move too. Kind of like lingerie for your home. MMMM MMM girl. You know just what I like to come home to. I don’t even want you to take it off. This blood-red lace ornament is going to look good in your castle. Personally, I’d like to see this as a bra and panty set. Can somebody make that happen? So sexy. Get’s my blood pumping. Wait, that’s just the red bull causing a minor cardiac infartion. Haha. I said in-fart-ion. Help me!

I’m dreaming that I come home to a beautiful redhead wearing this… It’s for the home, that’s right. Just for decoration. I have to focus. This Gothic Lace Bat Ornament is just so sexy I can’t help it. I have a real problem. I feel the same way about these bat wing sunglasses.

Disturbing Freddy Krueger Doll

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Disturbing Freddy Krueger Doll
This Disturbing Freddy Krueger Doll will keep you up all night should you choose to adopt it. If you let this thing in your house you have a death wish for sure. This little tyke has the pizza face you know and love, the signature shirt, claw hand, and that thirst for murder that is so very Freddy. He’s ready for his next adventure. Are you?

Someone is going to go through babysitters like crazy. The babysitter’s club? They all dead! There ain’t no one left in town to care for children. Not after he’s done. And soon all adults will perish. Only baby Freddy will be left as he grows and roams from town to town. This little guy was invading dreams and causing nightmares ever since the first person saw his face. Damn that kid is ugly. I bet you didn’t know that his fashion sense started right from birth. He’s just always had that same striped shirt, the hat and the killing claws. Also, if you love yourself this Freddy Krueger Doll, check out this Freddy Krueger Purse. It’s the creepiest place to hold all of your belongings, with the striped shirt design and slashes across the fabric.

Baby Maggot Purse

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Baby Maggot Purse
Where’s my purse? Well, it just didn’t get up and walk away. That’s not true if you are rocking the Baby Maggot Purse. It’s a baby, it’s apparently a maggot according to the seller and it will hold all of your important stuff. When you get home just drop it on the floor and it will put itself away. And all will be well until one day when you need to put it to sleep with a shotgun and then burn it in the fireplace. Trust me, it can happen.

Until then, enjoy.

The armored spine is a nice touch. The Baby Maggot Purse is not only evil, but also tough as hell. And apparently this thing is royalty judging by that tiny crown on it’s dead-eyed head. King of the maggots I guess. This thing is definitely nightmare fuel. Much like the baby maggot necklace.

Scary Stories Throw Blanket

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Scary Stories Throw Blanket
I’m under my Scary Stories Throw Blanket and ready for my scary stories right now. Which one of you is ready to read? You know the drill, I hide under the blanket, fall asleep within 5 minutes and you get to watch a wet spot slowly appear like a specter from my nether region. I know, I’m a real catch. I’m the scariest story. Ask any mother. Hell, ask anybody.

This blanket is inspired by the actual Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark book and will keep you warm while stories are being told. It’s a throw blanket so just throw it anywhere and everywhere. Toss it here and toss it there. Toss it everywhere. Toss your salad underneath. If you have a throw blanket you’re required to throw it like 10 times a day. It’s in the name. And I’m pretty sure that is federal law. All I know is that this is enough to get the “wet” out from the nightmare stories of the night before, but that’s just me. And hey, if dark mermaids are more your thing, check out this Mermaid Skeleton Blanket. It is pretty sexy and like totally goth and will look amazing in your home.

Ball of Worms – With Realistic Slime

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Ball of Worms - With Realistic Slime
Goodness gracious, great ball of worms. Throw these things back and forth and have a ball. Or a worm. It’s not a ball of wax, it’s not a ball of fun. It’s a great big ball of ewww! A ball of ick and ack, a ball that is whacked. Writhing worms, now with realistic slime coating. You could make one yourself by collecting worms from the dirt and compacting them into a nasty slimy ball, but it will always SPLAT on impact and that’s never pretty. Especially if you get hit upside the head. That’s how you get an ear worm.

These balls have all the yuck and none of the guts. They worm my heart. *You got balls kid!* Thanks, they’re full of worms. *Uh, okay, now get the hell away from me boy* Actually it takes real balls to display these things in your home. For real. And for some reason I never ever want to eat pasta again. I wonder why. I prefer these caterpillar babies.