I love these Creepy and Macabre iPhone Cases. They’re classy and I’m all about the class. I fact, I class up the joint just by being here. I think I can safely say that I’m all class with no sass and if you don’t like it you can kiss my- Anyway, these iPhone cases are pretty sweet. KeywayDesigns has a nice selection of fancy looking cases to choose from, but obviously the creepiest and weirdest are the best. Like their sugar skull and kraken offerings for instance. That Kraken is gonna avoid crackin’ on your screen. Give your phone a scary makeover while keeping it looking upscale.
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Tag: scary
All-Seeing Eye Illuminati Tie
Feast your peepers on this All-Seeing Eye Illuminati Tie. Wow. Try saying that three times fast. No, go ahead and try. I’ll wait. I’m gonna wear this everywhere so people think I’m “The Man”. Cuz I am. I admit it. I watch the goings on, I hush conspiracies, I AM the system! Plus, I attend all of the secret meetings. Really, you’ve never been? OMG! It’s so cool you guys. We have tables full of lunch meats, little weiners on sticks served on trays by little waiter weiners on stick legs, sometimes we talk about all of you peons and do a hearty belly-laugh as we drink wine. See the joke is usually that you have no idea that we are in control and living large at your expense. Ha! Good times. I know I’ve said too much, but that’s cool. They’ll just reprogram me and I’ll forget. Wouldn’t be the first time. As far as I know anyway.
Fart-Tracking Pill Is Totally Unnecessary
So here’s the deal. A research team has developed this pill, which looks like some robo-turd and measures hydrogen, carbon dioxide and oxygen gases in the gut in real time. So it basically tracks farts. Me? I don’t need this pill cuz I track farts with my nose. Sometimes I even grade the fart on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the smell of a festering corpse left out in the sun in a landfill and stuffed with cabbage. I don’t need anyone else to take this pill either cuz guess what? I smell your farts too. And that one guy two cubicles down is nailing the high 8 barrier today bigtime. I bet he felt the heat on his cheeks when he unleashed that last one.
Therefore your fart pill is useless. Wanna know if you have digestive issues? How nasty is your steaming fecal cloud? That’ll tell ya. The nose knows.
via CNet (Careful of their super loud and super annoying auto play video, which scared a magnitude 10 fartquake from my San Andr-anus fault cuz I had the sound way up.)
Russian Matryoshka Plague Doctor Nesting Dolls
The Plague Doctor will see you now. And so will a smaller one and a smaller one and a smaller one… It’s a plague of them I tells ya! Anyway, these Russian Matryoshka Plague Doctor Nesting Dolls are awesome. I can’t vouch for their Russian-ness, but I’ll keep an eye out and see if they drink a lot of Wodka and make jokes about the cold. Wait, it turns out that the seller is Russian. Russian to give you a great deal on some cool-ass nesting dolls! Hahahahaha. I am so inappropriate.
Intergalactic Cosmic Skeleton Hoodie
This Cosmic Skeleton Hoodie is out of this world. It’s groovy, it’s cosmic, it’s like a skeleton traveled the universe and collected starlight and nebulas and returned to Earth a God! …Of course that could just be my meds kicking in. Yeah, that’s more likely. It has a zip front, front pockets and a ribbed fit around the hips and wrist for your pleasure. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a journey to the center of my mind to complete and I require a dash of Nyquil to fuel my ship. OHHHHHHH. There we go. We have lift-off!