I love these Creepy and Macabre iPhone Cases. They’re classy and I’m all about the class. I fact, I class up the joint just by being here. I think I can safely say that I’m all class with no sass and if you don’t like it you can kiss my- Anyway, these iPhone cases are pretty sweet. KeywayDesigns has a nice selection of fancy looking cases to choose from, but obviously the creepiest and weirdest are the best. Like their sugar skull and kraken offerings for instance. That Kraken is gonna avoid crackin’ on your screen. Give your phone a scary makeover while keeping it looking upscale.
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Tag: classy
Dinosaur Fossil Coasters
People often say to me, “Shut up you old fossil” or “Who dug up that old fossil?” By people, I mean kids. I usually just shake my fist and mutter. Like it’s my fault that male pattern baldness and lady hips magically appeared on my 18th birthday. I’m from the GMO generation. My endocrines disrupted like it was a party up in here and it’s ladies night! Oh what a night! 30 is the new “Holy f**k it’s coffin buying time.” I got the cheapest option with the brass handles BTW. Just in case you want to know.
Anyway, these dinosaur fossil coasters are friggin’ awesome. No bones about it. If I wasn’t already using fast food napkins, I’d be on these in a heartbeat. These is classy. Enjoy them before you’re 30.
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The Snack Rat Keeps Guests From Your Food
Man I hate it when guests drop by unannounced! Sike! Like that even happens to me. I once went a whole month without even talking to another human. It’s called Minecraft and I can quit at any time! Anyway, if you get some unexpected company and you are not prepared to feed them, you need the Snack Rat. You just set out the Snack Rat tin and no one will even care about your meager food offerings. No one wants to eat with the Snack Rat’s beady eyes on them!
Fun fact: I usually perform the role of the Snack Rat during Thanksgiving dinner with my wife and her family. Beady eyes. Check. Makes humans feel uncomfortable. Check. Total silence. Check. I just keep it up until they all leave in disgust for Chinese, then eat everything myself. The next day I mention that my thyroid problem is acting up again, which explains the weight gain.
Snack Rat strikes again!
Keep It Classy With Black Toilet Paper
Black Toilet paper. You gotta keep things classy on the can. Brown on white is so low class. Brown on black? That s**t is classy as f**k! If your establishment doesn’t have black toilet paper and I need to take a massive after my evening meal in your fancy restaurant, I’m just gonna rip the waiters tie off and take it with me.
Nothing but the best for me. Besides, silk is so smooth and soft. Plus you charged me out the ass, so the ass strikes back. I would call a plumber too. I lost like 20 pounds in there. Screw Jenny Craig!
Fruit Bat Wine Accessories
Bats in your belfry? That’s cool. Me too. I also keep my wine in there, so these Fruit Bat wine accessories are perfect. Good butler! Fetch me some wine and a fruit bat to open it with! These bar accessories would be awesome in Bruce Waynes Batcave or even in a haunted house. They come in a coffin box. Just $75 from Etsy seller Dellamorteco.
I used to have a pet fruit bat, but he died from the lack of fruit in the house. Apparently, fruit roll ups and starbursts don’t count. You live, you learn. Well, I live, I learn. Him not so much.
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