Feast your peepers on this All-Seeing Eye Illuminati Tie. Wow. Try saying that three times fast. No, go ahead and try. I’ll wait. I’m gonna wear this everywhere so people think I’m “The Man”. Cuz I am. I admit it. I watch the goings on, I hush conspiracies, I AM the system! Plus, I attend all of the secret meetings. Really, you’ve never been? OMG! It’s so cool you guys. We have tables full of lunch meats, little weiners on sticks served on trays by little waiter weiners on stick legs, sometimes we talk about all of you peons and do a hearty belly-laugh as we drink wine. See the joke is usually that you have no idea that we are in control and living large at your expense. Ha! Good times. I know I’ve said too much, but that’s cool. They’ll just reprogram me and I’ll forget. Wouldn’t be the first time. As far as I know anyway.
Tag: conspiracy theory
The Truth is Out There X-Files Scarf
I hear ya. Why would I buy an X-Files Scarf in the middle of the summer? That’s what you’re thinking. Well, that’s what they want you to think. It’s a conspiracy, wrapped in a riddle, inside of an enigma, inside of a pit that holds a quagmire. They don’t want you to have a scarf and be prepared for the cold weather to come. So they hide the truth. Right in plain sight. Is it really summer? Are you sure? Maybe a false summer created by planes spraying chemtrails, cuz they modify the weather, cuz aliens need a warmer climate.
Buy this scarf, cuz when the resistance grounds those chemtrail planes and makes the planet colder, you’re gonna need it. Hope you like snow you alien freaks!
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Illuminati Air Freshener
The Illuminati is a secret organization that is rumored to control the world. They may or may not have just activated a sound trigger that made me write this article about their air freshener, to spread the word about the New World Order and start the conditioning of the masses to not fear your new masters.
Your car will smell like jack booted thugs trampling the constitution and kicking in your door, with the gentle hint of MK Ultra programming and just a whiff of never-ending wars fought to enrich the banking elite.
I wish those sounds would stop. I do love that New(World Order) Car smell though.
Ancient Alien Elongated Skull
This ancient alien skull may be from a real alien. It also could have been formed by a process called “boarding” where they used boards to elongate the head. My theory? I think ancient women just put their kids in a nest and sat on them to keep them warm. If you get your skull crushed between two ancient woman butt cheeks, you are going to have a cone head. That and you are gonna smell like ancient woman farts.
Sadly, we don’t have the fart testing technology to prove my theory, but we do have the technology to buy this replica online for $90.
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Tin Foil Hat Protects Your Dog From Passive Mind Control
You may not be worried about the government controlling your mind, but dogs know better. Ask any dog and they will tell you that there are humans out there trying to brainwash them and turn them into doggy Manchurian candidates. Just who do you think makes Fido lick his balls so often? The CIA that’s who. And also the cubans who killed Kennedy, who are really aliens from outer space.
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