Tag: scary

Mysterious Sterling Silver Owl Ring

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Sterling Silver Owl Ring
Whooooo is that? Who? Who? It is the coolest sterling silver owl ring. That’s who. It is classically creepy. Owls are creatures of the night, swooping and gliding through by dark trees as they hunt their unsuspecting prey for a late night snack. Embrace your inner bird of prey with this beautiful ring! My, what big eyes you have! Huge eyes are one of the owl’s best features. These striking orbs can spot a tiny morsel from way high up in the air. Then they swoop down and their prey is eliminated. Beauty and brutality. Ain’t nature wonderful? Channel your inner owl with this cool ring and be the envy of owl your friends. I mean all. All your friends. Those eyes. So intense. Reminds me of my ex wife when she wants money. She doesn’t even need to wear one of these creepy owl masks. She was born with resting bird-of-prey face.

Yeah nature is all about beauty and death. Kind of like this site. If it’s in nature and it is cute, chances are it can kill you or at the very least injure you horribly. That’s why I steer clear of nature. I just don’t give a hoot.

Bleeding Coffin Candle – AKA Vampire Waterbed

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Bleeding Coffin Candle
Blood drips from around the edges of this Bleeding Coffin Candle. Oozing, leaking, bleeding. Open the stone lid with fear and trepidation. Are you afraid of death? Are you afraid of the dark? Hope you’re feeling brave tonight! What lies within? Light the flame. Liquid wax burns bright then melts into a solid lake of death, to be melted into the ever after. Much like life, a candle burns brightly for a time before it dwindles into nothingness forever. See, I can be deep when I want to be. Enjoy the light while it lasts! Darkness is imminent once this grisly light burns out. Are you afraid of the dark? I’m not saying I am. Sure I screamed when the lights went out last week, but that’s only because I was so excited. And later it was because I stubbed my toe. Oh my God that hurts! Same thing happened when I saw that mouse. That was more of an eek than a scream though. You know me, I’m excitable. Speaking of cool bleeding coffins, if you like this bleeding coffin candle, check out these cool Bat Wing Coffin necklaces. It doesn’t get better than bats AND coffins in one item.

Fly Coasters – Coffee Rings Can Buzz Off

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fly coasters
Creepy, crawly, flies swarm all around these fly coasters! Does the thought of bugs creeping and flying around your face make you want to scream? *Rauses my own hand* These gothic fly coasters will definitely send you running! Just keep swatting….these flies won’t die! Hear their buzz, feel their creepy, little feet. Eternal, stone flies buzz around you for eternity from within the soul of this item. You know what I hate. How flies land all over your food when you are just trying to have a nice little picnic. Hey, thanks for laying eggs all over my hot dog, which I will then ingest as I harbor your mutant offspring in my stomach. This is why flies are evil.

They’re a curiosity for Halloween or anytime! Feel the buzz. The flies are coming! Forever filthy, buzzing flies, locked in stone for eternity. Or, are they???? Keep your flyswatter handy! If you happen to love these evil insects, check out these Fly earrings.

Slinky Rabbit – Terrifying Toy Taxidermy

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Slinky Rabbit - Terrifying Toy Taxidermy
Slinky Rabbit. It’s Slinky. It’s Slinky. It’s such a wonderful toy. Slinky! Slinky! It brings more terror than joy! WTF yo! Is it a toy or taxidermy? It’s both. Somehow. Made from a freeze-dried rabbit by the way. In case you were wondering. Imagine this thing slinking around and chasing you. They say it died of natural causes, but I have to wonder if those natural causes were a madman and an ax. They say that children are our future, and maybe. But the future has some f**ked up toys. What ever happened to wholesome toys like Monster Cereal catnip toys? You can’t escape the slinky rabbit.

6 Headed Clock – Half Past Horror

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6 Headed Clock - Half Past Horror
With this 6 Headed Clock, it’s always time for terror. Six heads are better than one I guess. Six screaming tormented heads. I only wish that they screamed on the hour, every hour. Hey man, what time is it? Well, let me look at the cl- WHAT THE SHIZZ? HOLY HELL. KILL IT! TIME IS A LIE! *Passes out*

Now to start my script titled “Six heads Tormented Through Time” starring Nicolas Cage in a six role tour de’ force. It will make you vomit. It will make you hurl. It will make you chuck and those heads don’t give a f**k! And in case you didn’t know, here’s a clock featuring Edgar Allan Poe. It ain’t no 6 Headed Clock, but whatevs.