Tag: scary

Grim Reaper Scythe Choker Necklace – Why So Grim?

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Grim Reaper Scythe Choker Necklace
This Grim Reaper Scythe Choker Necklace won’t give you the power over who lives and who dies, but it will get you noticed. (Hopefully not by the reaper himself. You don’t want to be noticed by him.) And also make people keep their distance from you. It’s the Grim Reaper‘s weapon of choice right there on your chest as a cool and creepy accessory. Why is he so grim anyway? Seems like a sweet job. Kind of a breeze. Some people are just grumpy and never happy.

You have a list of names and you use that list to shuffle folks off of this mortal coil while holding your Grim Reaper Scythe. Some people are never happy. I guess there’s no room for promotion though. Hey, I’m in the bidness and I just got promoted. And I’m aiming to take his job. I’ll be the happy reap- Wait! Who shouted “bum reaper”? No respect! Now you are on my list. You are the first one. Congratulations. I hope you like a scythe where the sun don’t shine. Anyone else? Huh? Does anyone else have anything to say? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Man I really hate this job already.

 

Bat Wing Sunglasses For The Goth Goddess

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Bat Wing Sunglasses
Do you see the world through rose-colored glasses? Not me, I see bats. Probably cuz they’re always attacking my face. I guess I just have that kind of face. Or at least I used to before it was all eaten away. Anyway, check out these awesome Bat Wing Sunglasses. Batgirl would definitely wear these. They give your face some serious attitude. Or should I say bat-titude? Especially when you make those pouty lips like this cute chica is doing. Yes, it makes me want you. Don’t ever change my dear and don’t ever change your style. I’m wearing these on Baturday, the best day of the week. Of course, every day is Baturday when you wear these.

Baturday, in the park. I think it was the fourth of July… Get your face all goth, don’t be a sloth! These Bat Wing Sunglasses are the bats nads dude!

Nosferatu’s Hand Belt Buckle

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Nosferatu's Hand Belt Buckle
Nosferatu’s veiny and ring-fingered hand hovering over my junk? That doesn’t sound like a good time to me, but if you want a vampire’s hand to hover over your wooden stake, then this Nosferatu’s Hand Belt Buckle is for you. Nosferatu is a weird name. I used to have a friend named Josh Feratu, who liked to have a nosh feratu, but he was stinky and in need of a wash feratu. Oh my gosh feratu!

And this is why you don’t send an idiot to do a blogger’s job. Way too late for that. This idiot has been in charge the whole time. And this idiot doesn’t need some Vampire Nightstalker’s hand over his business to feel manly. My own hand will do just fine, thanks. Well, I didn’t mean it like that. Well, I didn’t, but now that I think about it… Could be fun.

Unhand my manhood Nosferatu! This Nosferatu’s Hand Belt Buckle is getting freaky with me. It does go with the Nosferatu jacket though. Anyway, I just rubbed my man junk in garlic so the joke’s on you belt buckle. And on that guy in the next urinal who nearly passed out when I unzipped my fly.

Bird Plague Doctor Mask – Just In Time

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Bird Plague Doctor Mask - Just In Time
Yeah, this is me giving you the bird. The Bird Plague Doctor Mask. Because we live in weird times. I like how it looks really filthy like it’s made from dead bone. Hey, maybe wash every now and then and then you won’t have plagues that you need a mask for. Just an idea. Call me crazy but a little bit of soap goes a long way my bird brotha. Somehow I don’t think people would appreciate it if you walked around your local town in this while everyone is sheltering in place. I’m social distancing myself from all bird people until this thing is over with. Heck, maybe I’ll wear this thing and shelter in nest. Making cawing noises as is appropriate for the end times. Where are you hauling me off too? I was cawing, nit coughing! Caw! Caw! Caw my lawyer! I don’t have the caw vid.

This Plague Doctor Doll is just as cool as the Bird Plague Doctor Mask above but cuter.

Enamel Cobweb Collar Points – Creepy Couture

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Enamel Cobweb Collar Points
Dust off your collars you sexy goth girls and make room for these Enamel Cobweb Collar Points. So sexy. So spider webby. So on point. You get the point I’m making here? Oh what a tangled web you weave. On your collar. This is the sharpest looking thing to ever exit a spider’s butt. Unless it ate glass or something. You never know. Spiders are a weird lot. Anyway… That is some creepy-couture right there. A great axe-cessory. A touch of Goth if you will. (Usually a touch of goth for me ends with me in a sleeper hold and told to mind my hands.) Perfect for you mavins of macabre and frightening fashionistas. These points are on point. In a very pointed way. The Pointer sisters would approve. I’ve pointed the way to fashion. Now all you have to do is collar up with these Cobweb Collar Points baby. And I just pointed you right to ’em like a pointer dog. He heh. These jokes never got old. (Dusts some mold off of that last joke while you aren’t looking.) These things make your collar look like an old dusty house. In a good way.

Get you some style Goth girls.