Tag: silver

Gold And Silver Vampire Rings

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Gold And Silver Vampire Rings
This jewelry has bite. How annoying would I be with these Gold And Silver Vampire Rings? Putting my hands against people’s necks and telling them, “I want to suck your blood!” before getting punched in the Nosferatu. It would be pretty cool to wear these vampire choppers.

I’ll give one to my special vampire girl and she’ll say, “Fangs a lot! You really stoke the fires of my heart.”

Is your heart named Bram? Cuz I’m a real Bram Stoker and you have all the right vampire lestats!
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Silver Dinosaur Head

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Silver Dinosaur Head
Man, rich people have all the fun and luxury stuff. By rich people, I mean people with $100 to spend. Like this insane silver dinosaur head. It will probably be on the wall in some house that has a baby. People will be all like, “Were you born with a silver spoon?”

And he’ll be all like, “No, but we had a silver dinosaur head! So yes I am better than you. Now, where were we? Oh yes. I said PASS THE GREY POUPON you peasant! Chop chop!”