Leaping skeletal rabbits! What have we hare? I mean here. It’s a Cute and Glittery Skeleton Rabbit Enamel Pin. Reminds me of that time I saw an army of these things coming at me. It was the war of the Nyquil Overdose. I won, but barely and eventually woke up sweating and shaking under the couch, wearing a colander for a helmet with an ear of corn in my gun holster. I still have nightmares.
Still though, cute pin.
This Cosmic Skeleton Hoodie is out of this world. It’s groovy, it’s cosmic, it’s like a skeleton traveled the universe and collected starlight and nebulas and returned to Earth a God! …Of course that could just be my meds kicking in. Yeah, that’s more likely. It has a zip front, front pockets and a ribbed fit around the hips and wrist for your pleasure. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a journey to the center of my mind to complete and I require a dash of Nyquil to fuel my ship. OHHHHHHH. There we go. We have lift-off!
Where’d they dig up this fossil? The T-Rex Skull Desk Organizer is a mighty skull from a mighty beast and it makes a mighty desk accessory. It will hold your pens and pencils and other desk stuff,plus you can put your hand in there and pretend that it bit you and won’t let go. It comes in several colors. I’m gonna put a stuffed animal in its jaws and pretend it just made a kill, but that’s just me. Rooooooaaaaaaarrrrrrrr!
Oh man. Your bathroom is about to get badass peeps. This Skull and Skeleton Toilet Bowl Brush Set is going to look great in your Gothic themed bathroom. What? Don’t we all have Gothic themed bathrooms? Well, I just did mine up real nice with a bat toilet paper holder, stained glass window, some anti-vampire crucifixes and… Wait. You guys didn’t decorate your rooms? Guys, we were all supposed to do it. I’m the only one? Great. We pinky promised and everything. And I didn’t even want to pinky promise cuz it’s not manly, but I did anyway. This really sucks guys!
I just spent like 2 grand on all this! The gargoyle decorations alone cost me $200. Whatevs. I have a sweet Gothic human guano room and you don’t. I like to call it my steam room. As in Cleveland steamer. Oh! Zing! Didn’t see that coming did ya? Hmmmm. I really need to install some ventilation in here.
There’s nothing better than seeing your own reflection framed by a pair of skeletons just hanging around as if they’re admiring your beauty. And why wouldn’t they? That is one beautiful man-face if I do say so myself. I just realized that this Mirrored Skeleton Candle Holder would have the candle obscuring my face, but that’s okay, I’m secure enough in my good looks that no one can hold a candle to me. I don’t mean to wax on about it. Let me just light that candle and have one more look. Gotta lean in close and get a good gander. AHHHHH. IT BURNS! IT BURNS! And now you have heard the story of how I came to have a profession where I don’t need to show my face. Cuz now I have a face that’s only good for blogging and radio. Let this be a cautionary tale about unrestrained vanity and a man who peered too close to the sun for one last glimpse of perfection. JK I look effin beautiful. I make my livin’ off this face. I let blind people feel it so they can orgasm. True story.