Tag: spooky

Spooky Toilet , Bathroom And Laundry Signs

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spooky skeleton bathroom and laundry signs
If you have a skeleton hanging around your house, it’s a good idea to put up these Spooky Toilet , Bathroom And Laundry Signs. Just so others know that a skeleton may be taking a bath, hanging out on the clothes line or taking a dump. What does a skeleton dump anyway? Calcium obviously. I’ll ask one of them bony supermodels the next time I’m in New York. They probably squeeze for a half hour and pass a crystal encrusted Faberge egg that says Prada.

I’m getting these just for the Bathroom sign, cuz my house is haunted and I’m sick of guests walking in on that skeleton ghost who likes to play with a rubber duck and use up all of my bubble bath.

Ghoulish Book of Grammar

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ghoulish grammar book
Grammar Nazis hate me, because I ain’t speak proper engrish. This Ghoulish Book of Grammar might help. It basically teaches adult weirdos about the ABCs using horror characters and nightmarish images. It will scare you into proper grammar. Won’t work on me though. I learned my grammar in the slammer son. Thug life.

I was in for like 24 hours in the drunk tank. Sounds fun, I know, but despite the name, it really is NOT a tank of alcohol you get to swim around in. It’s more like a tank of vomit and urine. And some crazy-eyed dude named Pedro who tells you you are pretty as he sniffs your hair.
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Day of the Dead Skull Measuring Spoons

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skull measuring spoonsNo bones about it, these Day of the Dead Skull Measuring Spoons are perfect for when you’re making creepy cupcakes or terrifying treats. They’re in the Calavera style. Calavera is a representation of the human skull made from either sugar or clay, which is used in the Mexican celebration of the Day of the Dead. Bam! You just learned something new.

That makes me a teacher. A sensei. A guru. Luckily I hate learning as much as you do, so it’s recess time. *bell rings* Who’s up for a game of kickball? Oh, I see you started without me. Seriously? I’m still getting picked last? As in not at all? Be that way. Your loss. I was gonna bake a cake and bring it to class, but now I’m just gonna buy one pre-made and cry-eat while I grade your homework. So really, typical night.
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Ouija Board Inspired Invites

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ouija inspired invites
Use these Ouija Board Inspired Invites to invite people to your fancy shindigs. Shindigs… Not sure what that word even means, but it sounds like a Denny’s type restaurant in a one horse town.

*Holds Ouija Board invitation to my head* I sense a stirring in the spirit world. There will be liquor and hors d’Oeuvres. Followed by a nice dinner with expensive champagne. I will stuff pastries into my pockets to take home with me. Yes, spirit says to find the coat room and rummage through pockets for cash and free breath mints.*Comes out of my trance.* That seals it. I’m going! *Moves planchette to YES!*

Lounging Skeleton In Casket Desk Organizer

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lounging skeleton desk organizer
This Lounging Skeleton In Casket Desk Organizer is not going to rest in peace. Ever. Not after you bury him under all of your paperclips, pens and whatever else you pencil pushers use. Me? I don’t need a desk organizer. I have the old timey typewriter method of working. I type for a while, then when an old timey typewriter would need it’s paper changed like an infant needing a new diaper(Wah! Wah! I am old technology! Change me and powder my bottom!) I swipe everything off my desk to the left and repeat. It makes for a very tidy desk. And a mountain of crap to the left of it.

It’s cool. It’s mostly Kit-Kat wrappers and the insects that love them.

I’m out! Gonna go lounge like a skeleton. I better not wake up buried in paperclips you guys!