These Skull Microphones Are Awesome

These Skull Microphones Are Awesome
Testing. Testing. 1. 2. 3. What the- Just realized my lips were next to one of these Skull Microphones. Sorry if I accidentally kissed ya. Just tryin’ to do a podcast here. I’m lying. I have no idea how to do one. My skill set is limited to acting like a jackass and accidentally entertaining you guys on a regular basis. Thanks for the gig.

These are skull microphones. They are awesome. Possible band names: Skull-Lee-O-Sis, The Brainiacs, Noggin McFloggin, The Chrome Domes… That’s all I got. I’m blinded by their shiny Terminator-like brilliance.

Steampunk Skull Jewelry Box

Steampunk Skull Jewelry Box
I need another skull decoration around here like I need a sword in the head. But I do need a Steampunk Skull Jewelry Box with a sword in the head. Everyone come to my house. The first person to pull the sword from the skull shall be king. Oh hell, that came away really easy. Oh well. Feel free to rule over my entire kingdom. *Looks around at my filthy hovel.* Hey, where’d ya go? Fine, I’ll continue being king, but I’m going to war with all of you.

Copper Bat Pendant Necklace

Copper Bat Pendant Necklace
Feeling Batty? Me too. Check out this cool Copper Bat Pendant Necklace. It’s friggin’ awesome. Bat-tastic. Bat-mazing. I just want to stare at it all day, but then I would be accused of staring at your breasts. And you’d tell me, “Hey, my bats are up here.” So then I’d look up at the bats in your hair and realize you were Horror host Elvira. Then I’d look down at your breasts for real and get slapped. But I would regret nothing.

Cthulhu Steampunk Goggles

Cthulhu Steampunk Goggles
Wearing these Cthulhu Steampunk Goggles is like playing peek-a-boo with Cthulhu himself. Here, try these on. I’m blind! I’m blind! All I can see is Cthulhu’s tentacles. Get him off me! Get him off me! Oh wait, I had the lens caps on!
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Mad Scientist Brain Specimen in a Jar Top Hat

Mad Scientist Brain Specimen in a Jar Top Hat
I think I found my Halloween hat. This Mad Scientist Brain Specimen in a Jar Top Hat is gonna look awesome on my noggin. I’d tip my hat to you, but my brains would leak all over the place. On your suit, in your eye. HE BLINDED ME, WITH SCIENCE. Actually brain juice. Why are scientists so mad anyway? Probably cuz they don’t get enough sleep. Science is tiring. It should be called shy-ence cuz these dorks are all working alone in rooms underground and stuff.
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