Tag: strange

Creepy As Hell – Broken Doll Halloween Mask

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Creepy Broken Doll Halloween Mask
Hey, that’s a cool mask. What is it? A Broken Doll Halloween Mask? Cool. Sure, I have change for the bus- Hang on. Whatchu mean Broken Doll? More like broke-ass doll. Get yer own damn bus change. What do I look like, a change machine? It is pretty damn creepy though. Stop looking at me with those blank eyes. Seriously, stop it. Okay, okay. Here’s some change. No, we’re all good. You get this bus. I’ll catch another one. *Watches as she boards bus. Watches as people scream and evacuate bus.* Damn, we all catch another bus!

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Black Bat Gemstone Pendant

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Black Bat Gemstone Pendant
This Black Bat Gemstone Pendant looks pretty awesome. Give it as a gift to someone you are batty about. It is so classy and so batty that I’m squealing like a bat. Really I am, you just can’t hear me. You also can’t smell that fresh load of guano I just unleashed cuz I was so excited and couldn’t contain my bat-bowels. No worries, I promise to re-enact the whole thing when this blog goes VR and smell-o-vision, which will probably be about 2025. Wooo-hooo! I have at least that long to go without deodorant before anyone notices. Hey, why do all the house plants keep dying? Just one of life’s mysteries I guess.

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Engraved Spider Web Votive Candle Holders

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Engraved Spider Web Votive Candle Holders
Light a candle and set a creepy mood with these Engraved Spider Web Votive Candle Holders. Or you can use some plain glass candle holders and set a crappy mood. Your choice. These are perfect for Halloween or any old time. I like to use them, cuz it reminds me that I’m never safe from spiders and if they crawl in these webs, they are gonna burn up. So they are a trap. I’m pretty sure they are dumb enough to do it too. I mean I burnt my hands on Hot Pockets a ton of times and I still haven’t learned.

Candle light, spider web light. What’s the dif?

Scary Sexy Bat Hair Bow Clip Is So Sexy

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Scary Sexy Bat Hair Bow ClipI love a girl with bats in her belfry. Crabs in her crabshack, not so much cuz you need special creams and stuff to stop the itching. But yeah, this Bat Hair Bow Clip looks sexy. Like you are a servant of some vampire. I’ll let ya bite my neck just as long as you leave a hickey, so everyone can see proof that I scored or almost scored. And that moment when you grab this bat hair bow and let it loose? Letting your hair flow down as you shake it free? Oh man. I am so turned on right now. Then the bat will fly off and we will live happily ever after. You’ll nag me about my healthy eating of course and my drinking at 5 AM, and the donuts, not to mention the fact that I just lay there scratching and farting and don’t look for a job, but I know we are going to be so happy together. That’s why I got you this ring. I love you. Was that too soon? Should I have waited?

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Dracula – Vlad The Impaler Leather Journal

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Vlad The Impaler Leather Journal
Sweet journal. This Vlad The Impaler Leather Journal is hand made with some amazing attention to detail. I made a poem about it:

Vlad The Impaler
Used an inhaler.
Asked a girl to date,
but he never got to nail her.
So can he really be known as Vlad the Impaler?
I think not.

You could write your own poems in this journal. Or draw pictures of vampires and stuff. It’s gonna be sweet. Or get this one, which is also awesome.

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