The Poop Emoji Whoopee Cushion is an old classic updated for the modern age. It is a whoopee cushion that looks like the poop emoji. So when you put it on someone’s chair, they are not only going to make a fart noise so you can point and laugh, they are also sitting on poop. Now that’s what I call some high tech, modern innovation. It’s a gag that never gets old. It just gets more poop themed.
Tag: toy
Realistic RC Spider Remote Control Toy
What the hell is that? Get it away! Kill it with fire! Wanna scare the bejesus out of someone? Mess with them using this Realistic RC Spider Remote Control Toy. That’s what I did. I’m responsible for like 3 heart attacks, 2 fainting spells, some dude reaching for a pill in his pocket and 1 case of bowel evacuation, although to be fair, she did have tacos that day. This thing is too much fun. For the one controlling it. Other people? Not so much.
LEGO UFO Abduction Set – The Truth Is Out There
Because it is never too early to teach your kids about the horror that is alien abduction, you can do so with this LEGO UFO Abduction Set. The focus of this set is to protect the farmer from being abducted by the alien UFO. As your child is building it you can talk with them about things like missing time, butt probing stuff, tractor beams and regression therapy. It should be a productive little project that you can both share in.
Mini Praying Mantis Finger Puppet
I can’t be the only one who is creeped out by the Praying Mantis. It is just wrong and creepy. Get it away. Get that Mini Praying Mantis Finger Puppet out of my face. *Sprays raid all over your face* I warned you. You’re gonna wanna put some milk on that. Sorry, I’m all out.
What the hell are they praying for anyway? Even more nightmarish looks? They describe this toy as “Great fun for toddlers and children”. More like “Great fun for the therapists that are gonna get rich cuz your kid is traumatized for life”. And you know why too. F**k Praying Mantises!
Read more “Mini Praying Mantis Finger Puppet”
Authentic Bigfoot Call
Guys this is the most accurate Bigfoot calling device ever, at least since that spicy taco fart I did while camping in 1976, which resulted in a three Bigfoots circling my tent wondering what that trash smell was and if the mountain was on fire with ass somehow. This Authentic Bigfoot Call seems totally legit. I’m willing to take their word for it, mostly cuz I’m too lazy to look up a video on Youtube. I’m sure it doesn’t sound anything like a kazoo f**king a duck or anything like that. Just blow into it and it will call a Bigfoot. So it is basically a Bigfoot phone. You know how else you can call a Bigfoot? Hang up a dead goat in the forest and wait. This device is much less messy. Also where do you even find a goat that isn’t part of a meme? No idea.