Tag: wolfman

American Werewolf In London Painting

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

american werewolf in london painting
Yep. I went on a trip to London last year and this American Werewolf In London Painting looks about right. Except my sweatpants were hanging way lower and I prefer Burger King. Plus, my bike had a bell.

Ding ding. Ding ding. Fat American tourist coming through. Out of the way. You damn English make it impossible to juggle 3 Whoppers, 4 orders of fries, a happy meal and an ice cream cone.

On the plus side Londoners are really good about you falling off of your bike and having a heart attack. Got me an ambulance in no time. Thanks Gov! Health care there is awesome too. I was on my feet and back to being a disgusting American in no time. MURICA!

Limited Edition Classic Monster Garter Belt

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

universal monsters garter belt
Oh my stars and garters! Whatever that means. All I know is that this Limited Edition Classic Monster Garter Belt is sexy time with monsters, which as it happens is also the name of my new band. Basically the idea is that we get up on stage and dry hump a bunch of monster props. I’m in charge of the mummy and boy am I chaffing right now. Who’s got some Goldbond powder? No one? Itchy itchy ouch ouch!

Since this thing is a limited edition, you know that your girl is going to be one of the select few covering her Universal monster with another universal monster. Aaahoooooo! Werewolves of lingerie Aaahooooooooooo!