Sadly these Friday The 13th Socks don’t actually make a sound, but once someone reads the bottom, they know what it means. Huh? It’s the sound that Jason Voorhees makes ya dork. Fun fact: It’s also the sound that I make during sexy time. Which is why my lovers have to wear headphones. Now why they also need a blindfold I have no idea.
Author: Artemis Winterford
My God It’s Full Of Skulls – Gothic Skull Dress
This Gothic Skull Dress is filled with skulls. And roses. Take it from me, I think you’ll look cute in it. Not that I’ve been watching you or anything. After all of these years, I just know what you like my dear. No need to thank me. Happy anniversary my love.
See, that could be you giving your girl this sweet dress. Someone is getting lucky tonight. Is it me? Am I winning the lottery. Shut up brain, I’m trying to blog here. I think this is called a skater dress cuz if you buy this for her, you are skating right into her heart.
Creepy Raven Skeleton
Everyone is raven about this bony raven. Caw! caw! Cuz he’s bones. This Creepy Raven Skeleton just wants to perch somewhere in your home. No pooping all over your stuff. He promises. This guy is gonna look so cool in my creepy library. What? No, it’s not decorated scary per se, I just find fancy book learning to be creepy. Plus having a library makes me look smart. Guard my books skeleton bird and make sure that I never have the urge to learn!
Freddy Krueger Nightmare On Elm Street Flats
Heels are the real nightmare. Am I right girls? Not that I would know. These Freddy Krueger Nightmare On Elm Street Flats will keep you close to the Earth and close to sleepy bye bye dream-time where Freddy lives. The molten flesh on the toes are a nice touch. Freddy approves. He will like them so much that he’ll say, “I’m your boyfriend now!”
I wonder if that burnt flesh gets all stinky on a hot summer day. It’s cool, cuz it masks the smell of your foot funk anyway. Its okay, we all got it.
Mens Skull Bracelet
This Mens Skull Bracelet will make even the daintiest man-wrist look tough and like a biker dude. Now that your wrist looks tough, the rest is up to you. You can start by putting that calculator away and ditching those hipster glasses for a Harley, Poindexter. Man up dude. Or should I say, Skull up? Nah, it’s cool. *Whispers* I still wear pink and lavender friendship bracelets. They were a gift to myself. Mommy says it’s okay to be tender and delicate and that men can cry. *buzz* A bee! ARGH! Run inside. Get away bee. ACK! *Swats at it weakly with my wrist.* It’s in my dress. Somebody help! *Faints.*