What the-? This Winged Skeleton Double Candle Holder just flew down and set itself on my mantle guys. I’m serious. This isn’t like the time I drank 2 bottles of nyquil because I thought I had early onset arthritis. Dude is pretty badass. He’s all like, Pfft I’ll hold your candles and make this shizz look heavy metal! Dude is totally macabre. I bet he has a huge wingspan too. Not that that matters. It’s not how big your wings are, but how you use ’em.
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Author: Artemis Winterford
Human Skull Fire Logs – Throw Another Head On The Fire
So ya get these Human Skull Fire Logs and you put them in your fireplace or your fire pit and you just crack jokes at ’em while they’re flaming.
Ohhhh, somebody is a little hot-headed I see. I think you have a slight temperature, let me feel your head. Oh yeah, you’re burning up.
It’s all fun and games until your neighbor sees all of the human heads in your fire pit and thinks you’re doing some weird heebie-jeebie stuff. But what are they gonna say? They don’t want their head in the fire next.
Shiny Dragon Scale Necklaces
How do you find a dragon scale? I have no idea. Maybe try dragon Walmart and then get the dragon on the thing and listen to him lie about the weight. Seriously though, these Dragon Scale Necklaces are so iridescent and shiny. I would buy it, but I’m dragon my heels. Ha. I made a funny. Hope my jokes aren’t dragon you down. Damn! I did it again. I’m so awesome.
Gothic Mary Shelley Pendant
This Gothic Mary Shelley Pendant celebrates the woman and the legend that gave us Frankenstein. Hmmm. If she created Frankenstein, does that make her Frankenstein’s monster’s monster? Frankenstein’s monster’s mother? I’m confused, but what else is new? She’s an attractive Chick-torian. I would have been all over her and her big fat royalty checks. Hey baby. Read your book today. I really liked it…
Dead or Alive T-Rex Wine Bottle Holders
These Dead or Alive T-Rex Wine Bottle Holders are cool. Display the alive T-Rex Wine bottle holder when you start your illustrious drinking career, then display the dead one when your liver is shriveled and nasty. It’s life’s precious cycle.