This is a cool Gothic Spider Web Shelf, but I already have one. You know how I got it? I just don’t dust. That’s probably why I also have a Gothic mantle of dead bugs and a Gothic refrigerator with mold behind it. Do you think spiders will be drawn to this shelf? I would be if I were a spider. A pre-fab web already built, so I don’t have to wear out my spider-butt spinning silk? Sign me up.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Cthulhu Fireside Companion Set
This Cthulhu Fireside Companion Set is a set of cool tools for your fireplace. Probably forged by a blacksmith with some Cthulhu tentacle slime to give it magical properties. It is a “set”, not an actual “Cthulhu Fireside Companion”, cuz trust me, that doesn’t work.
Thanks for being my companion as I sit by the fire, Cthulhu. Hey, stop squirming. I know you barely fit in that chair, what with your butt-tentacles and all, but damn, sit still. What do you mean it’s too hot in here? Okay, so your skin is drying out. Put on some moisturizer. Damn, stop complaining and just enjoy an evening by the fire! You know something? You are not a good fireside pal!
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Vinyl Monster Decals For Your Car
3QuartermoonCreative sells all kinds of cool Vinyl Monster Decals For Your Car. I’m gonna get some of these. Monsters will keep people from tailgating me all day. Get off my butt man! You don’t wanna wake the monster! That’s a warning sticker pal! You hit me and pop my trunk, this is the monster you’re gonna see. Well, that and like 10 potato chip bags and a pair of jumper cables.
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Team Hell All-Star Horror Team Print
What team are you rooting for? *Shrugs* I dunno. Team hell? This fun print features all of your favorite horror psychos and villains like they are a Soccer team or something. Team Hell. If they win, that’s where you’re going. It features Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger, Jason, Pinhead, Scream, Chucky, Jigsaw and Leatherface.
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Vintage Morticians Day Planner Diary
What do you think you’ll find in this Vintage Morticians Day Planner Diary?
9 AM: Went shopping at the local embalming emporium. Got a sweet deal on some cosmetics for the dead too.
11 AM: Stitched up some guy’s butthole so no more diarrhea comes out. That’s embarrassing.
12 PM: Lunch
1 PM: Arranged the bodies to recreate some of my favorite scenes from musicals. I was mildly amused, but must get back to cutting them. The sweet cutting is what I crave. And then the dressing them.
9 PM: Time for bed. Time for lonely. Until the morning when my silent friends will greet me once again and I will hug them and dress them and have tea parties. Oh I would love a cup. How have you been? It’s been so long! Kisses on each cheek.
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