Category: Creep Wear

The Digestive System: Everybody Eats & Poops T-Shirt

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Everybody Eats & Poops
Everybody eats and everybody poops. So get over yourself. You aren’t anything special. What’s with you? Acting like your poop doesn’t stink! That can of lysol on your toilet says different. Anyway, check out this cool The Digestive System: Everybody Eats & Poops T-Shirt. Yay! At last I can put my bodily functions on display for all to see. Without having to drop anchor and open my bomb hatch. (I like to pretend I’m an old sea ship during war time. And I just encountered an enemy sub. Pew! Pew! Pew! Direct hit! That was a close one. Time to write about it in my Captain’s log!)

It’s fun and educational. Laterz! The alarm just sounded and there’s a sub approaching. Oh man- Fired to early. Now I gotta go scrub the hull! Hopefully I won’t find any barnacles.
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Crow Claw Necklace

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Crow Claw Necklace
This Crow Claw Necklace is cast from the real thing and ready to claw it’s way into your heart. Do you see those talons? I’m calling it the Freddy Kreuger bird from now on. I say you guys get this necklace and I’ll get one, then we meet at my place and play that crane game. We’ll all stand over a bunch of stuffed animals and prizes, then bend down and see if we can grab the stuff with our claw necklaces. Deal? I didn’t rig the game! Stuffs just slippery!

Creepy Jumping Spider Face Mask

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Creepy Jumping Spider Face Mask
Excuse me while I put on this Creepy Jumping Spider Face Mask and jump around the room, freaking everyone out. Behold my giant mandibles and spider-hair! Hey, spiders have hair! Why don’t they ever do anything with it? You never see a spider with a mohawk. Or a well-trimmed beard. I think that would make them even more scary. They need little spider beauty salons.

Spider mask,
Spider mask,
I’ll wear it whenever a human asks.

Spin a web, out my butt
Jump around like a spider nut.

Look Out!
Here comes the Spiderman.
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Snail Shell Helmet Will Make You Slow And Slimy

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Snail Shell Helmet Will Make You Slow And Slimy
Wanna be a slow and slimy warrior princess? Just wear the Snail Shell Helmet. Weird antenna things not included. You wear this and you’ll become a shell of your former self. Also, they’ll send it to you via snail mail. I do love this helmet though. They totally snailed it! You better make a snail trail to this helmet now before it’s gone- Oh wait. I turned my head and it barely moved an inch. Yeah, forget what I said. You have time.

Pill Necklace

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Pill Necklace
Here, I got you this cool Pill necklace. What, you don’t like it? Oh, don’t be a pill! Don’t worry, it didn’t cost much. I got it from DesignerDrugJewelery who makes all kinds of pharma-cessories. I saved up my money for a prozac bracelet. It’s drugs that you can wear as jewelry. Hang on, starting to feel freaky. Just need a little nip. *Licks my bracelet all over.* That’s better.

Actually all of the pills are sealed in resin so it’s safe. I just lick it hoping that one day I’ll break that barrier. I bet all the big pharmaceutical people are wearing this stuff. The pills in this one are called Protonix. It’s a treatment for an esophagus acid irritation.

*Sighs* If we all wore our drugs as jewelry I would look like Mr. T. trapped in my own necklace mound.