Tag: helmet

Leather Kraken Helmet

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Leather Kraken HelmetCrikey, ats a kraken elmet mate! I’ll take a crack at that kraken helmet. It doesn’t have any actual cracks right? Good cuz my head needs to be protected while I’m riding my Big Wheel, which I decked out in tentacles and seaweed. I’m going for a whole Mad Max thing. In this case, I call it Crazy Kraks.

You see why I have to protect my noggin? Cuz these ideas are gold! Plus I’m a big fan of Cthulhu and Krakens. In school the girls used to call me H.P. Nub-craft, for reasons I don’t feel comfortable getting into here. Well, I better get Kraken if I’m gonna save up all my dough and buy this thing.
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Snail Shell Helmet Will Make You Slow And Slimy

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Snail Shell Helmet Will Make You Slow And Slimy
Wanna be a slow and slimy warrior princess? Just wear the Snail Shell Helmet. Weird antenna things not included. You wear this and you’ll become a shell of your former self. Also, they’ll send it to you via snail mail. I do love this helmet though. They totally snailed it! You better make a snail trail to this helmet now before it’s gone- Oh wait. I turned my head and it barely moved an inch. Yeah, forget what I said. You have time.

Darth Minnie Mouse Ears Helmet

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Darth Minnie Mouse Ears
When you combine America’s favorite female mouse with the Galaxy’s most evil tyrant, you unleash an evil sith as we have never seen before. Darth Minnie!

*Emperor’s old gnarled voice* Give in to your hate. Join the dark side. Dig deep into your wallet. Feel the merchandising! Wear the Darth Minnie Mouse Ears Helmet!

Nah, I’m good! But that chick’s super long neck is freaking me out!

Shaved Human Head Helmets

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custom made head helmet
Artist Jyo John Mulloor created these custom-made helmet designs that look like shaved human heads. All stubble, no trouble.

*Pulls into gas station. Sees motorcycle guy with a badass shaved head.* Shaved heads are so cool. Hey man, I love your shaved head! You’re a tough guy and you don’t take any crap. I bet you have like 6 girlfriends and 3 mistresses. Be right back dude!

*Heads to the restroom. Comes out bald 10 minutes later cause peer pressure works super fast on me.* Now I’m just like you man. Teach me your ways.

Guy removes his bald head helmet, revealing Fabio length hair underneath.

*Plays it cool.* Yeah, well… At least mine is real.
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Predator Paintball Mask: Get To Da Choppa!

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Predator Paintball MaskThis custom Predator Paintball mask immediately makes you the target if you play in my paintball games. Don’t get all creative and start making Predator noises either because someone will take you down. So what? You can cloak and become invisible. I’m just gonna put mud all over myself and arm a nuke so you can’t see me. How ya like me now? We Earthlings bite back! No easy prey here!

Just gonna lay in the mud and wait. Then when he’s close and almost walking over me, I’m gonna rise up and go all Sherwin-Williams on his preda-testicles. How you like that? You like getting a crotch full of paint?

*gets huge knife out as the dude takes the mask off* Hey man, wtf!!! It’s me! Your buddy!

Oh thank God you’re here. You aren’t going to believe this, but there was just a- Where did that Predator go?

*Other buddy walks up* You know not to confuse him. He still thinks Superman and Clark Kent are two different people!

I don’t know what you guys are talking about, but I have a Predator to kill. *Shakes head as I walk away* Only my idiot friends would think that Supes and Clark are the same guy. Anyway, looks like I’m on my own in this fight. Where are you, you ugly Spider-Faced freak? Show yourself!
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