It’s time to slip your feet into some sharks. These JAWS shoes will be available this summer. My feet are fearful. My tootsies are terrified. My ten little piggies are bloody chum in the water! June 20th, 2016 is the 41st anniversary of the movie JAWS, so Sperry shoes are releasing a line of JAWS themed footwear. They will be available for order online as early as next month starting May 5th. They will be in retail stores soon after on June 9th.
The shoes are wrapped in blood-soaked tissue paper. Apparently, with each shoe purchase, you will get some postcards in the packaging. You can check out several of the designs here. Pretty cool. Great for sharkin’ around. One minor gripe. They really should have some fins so I can feel like I really have tiny sharks on my feet. That way, I can sing the shark theme while I walk and creep up on people like sharks do. And since my shoes can’t bite, I’m just gonna have to kick them really hard. Not my fault. It was the shark shoes. Not safe to go in the water? It is now not safe to go on the sidewalk. Blame my twin shark feet, both named Bruce.
You know why I don’t garden? Well, aside from the fact that everything I touch dies, did you know there are spiders outside? True story. And everyone knows that when a spider touches you, you feel all icky and weird. I don’t need any of that jazz. I wish they were all as cool as this 
