Straight Outta The Coffin T-Shirt

Straight Outta The Coffin T-Shirt
Gang gang! This Straight Outta The Coffin T-Shirt is some serious gang shizz. The coffin gang. Definitely, the bloods then, not the crypts. Wear it and show your colors cuz you know the werewolf gang on the upper east side ain’t playin’ and stuff is about to pop off! They been lifting their legs in our hood and showing disrespect, pissing on every fire hydrant like the dogs they are. It’s war. It’s also starting to really smell bad.

Fresh out of your coffin? Also, check out this Coffin Zen Garden.

Straight Outta The Coffin

Ain’t been out dat often

My and my possie out for blood.

Pants are outta fashion

Like I’m expecting a flood.

Sipping O Negative like it was a positive

From my gothic pimp cup. It’s my prerogative.

Flying through the night with my bat homies

Sucking from the neck of a chick named Naomi.

I ain’t playing no garlic, I ain’t playing no cross.

Gotta make a note so I don’t forget to floss.

Teeth are all filed sharp as a razor.

I’m marking each victim with a mother f***ing laser.

Back to my coffin cuz I’m tired as sh*t

Been drinkin’ all night and it’s time to quit.

I’m Gay For Mothman Cryptid T-Shirt – Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That

I'm Gay For Mothman Cryptid T-Shirt
Wear it proudly. The I’m Gay For Mothman Cryptid T-Shirt doesn’t mean that aren’t also gay for Bigfoot or the Chupacabra. It just means that Mothman really converted you. Nothing wrong with it. I know people who are secretly gay for the Loch Ness Monster, but they use Mothman as a beard. No shame in any game my peeps. I myself am Tri-Cryptid. I’ll try anything. Guys, we should all totally wear this and join each other in the I’m gay for Mothman Million Mothman March.

Cool UFO Abduction Bigfoot T Shirt

UFO Abduction Bigfoot T Shirt
This UFO Abduction Bigfoot T Shirt shows Bigfoot getting sucked up into a UFO. Or does it? I think they are dropping this sasquatch off. What the shizz? You UFOs just think you can dump your creatures here anytime you want? This planet isn’t some Bigfoot daycare center. You can’t just drop your hairy brats off without even parking, leave them here for like 3 weeks and then pick them up after your big party of Alpha Centauri, still half drunk and smelling like alien sex and Martian Margaritas.

Ripped Skull Cutout T-Shirt

Skull Cutout T-Shirt
This Skull Cutout T-Shirt puts a giant skull on your back. Which I find kinda sexy. Fun fact: I just ripped up like 30 of my t-shirts trying to replicate this look. Didn’t work. You win some, ya lose some. Farts. That’s what I’m good at ripping. Along with my jeans. I won the annual crop dusting competition two years in a row after all. So at least there’s that.

A Globetrotter’s Guide to Bigfoot T-Shirt

A Globetrotter's Guide to Bigfoot T-Shirt
This A Globetrotter’s Guide to Bigfoot T-Shirt is a handy shirt for the traveller. It lets you know what to call Bigfoot in different areas of the world, as well as how they differ in appearance. So if you run into one, you can quickly identify it. I usually just identify it as “Holy s**t! Did you see that huge motherf**ker?”

Not as classy as this Bigfoot Shirt, but still.