Ladies and gentlemen. Live from Etsy, I present to you……Carrot Top. This top is perfect for red-headed comedians and other showmen who want to represent the almighty carrot. Only $35 from Etsy seller Parsellettas. Eh, what’s up doc?
Category: Creep Wear
The Selfie Brush
The Selfie Brush. Always look your best by combining your phone with your hair brush. Brush that hair, then make some duck lips and take an awesome selfie. This plastic brush holds your iPhone in the back, next to the mirror. Because you know, you love yourself so much. And the whole world has to see you at your best. Several times a day.
Read more “The Selfie Brush”
Turkeyzilla Tote Bag With Drumstick Coin Purse
Just in time for Thanksgiving. It’s the Turkeyzilla Tote Bag With Drumstick Coin Purse. This ain’t no poultry handbag, but it will gobble up all of your essentials thanks to it’s large inner cavity. You get a bonus drumstick coin purse. Sweeeet!
You have to make it yourself from the pattern, which will probably still be a lot faster than cooking a Thanksgiving day turkey.
Neanderthal Caveman Family Costume
Yabba Dabba Doooooo! You and your family can be a Neanderthal family this Halloween. Etsy seller Becozy has everything you need for just $65. She is even offering to throw in some scraps of loincloth to cover your baby carrier or stroller.
Nah. I prefer to cloth my family in the skin of my own kills. Which is probably why we all walk around half naked. Animals are just too fast and I’m too flabby. They always seem to hear the old Walmart scooter coming. I eventually lose my prey after stalking it through one aisle and then I get all out of breath from hitting the brake lever. That’s what I call a full day. Oh wait. That’s shopping. Not hunting and gathering.
I lied. I’m not part of the Walmart biker gang, “Hell’s (very large and slow) Angels”, but if I keep eating cheetos and playing video games I’ll get there eventually.
Custom Star Wars Ewok Heels: Jub-Jub
Stomp all over the Empire with these Ewok shoes. They are so comfortable that they are easy to Endor. See that? I’m an awesome blogger. Just Wicket at what I do. These shoes are awesome. Just put these babies on and start poking stuff with a stick as you make jub jub noises.
If you buy these, please take a video of you stomping a bunch of Stormtroopers and an AT-ST. Or at least kick some dude dressed in Stormtrooper armor. Ewok shoes are made for fighting and that’s what I want to see.