Category: Creep Wear

It Takes Guts To Wear These Intestine Socks

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intestine socksWear your intestines on your feet with these Intestine Socks. This will mess with anyone who has x-ray vision. They will be all like, “My powers must be messed up. Either that or this person has intestines in their legs. They must do a lot of walking to digest their food.”

Intestines will be the big fashion trend this year. I’m never wrong about these things. Except for that time I predicted that pop rocks would join salt and pepper as America’s new favorite seasoning. However that too shall come to pass.

Ghostbusters Slimer Headpiece Mask

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ghostbusters slimer maskThis Ghostbusters Slimer Headpiece Mask lets you play the role of slimer this Halloween. I would wear a black robe to hide my body, so it looks like slimer is floating through the night. Then when Bill Murray or Dan Akroyd or, well anybody, gets close…I’m gonna spit on them. You’ve been slimed fool.

Dude that’s nasty! How’d you get the slime all green and gooey so that it sticks to people’s faces?

That was the easy part. I drank lots of mountain dew and I’ve been chewing on nothing but green gummi bears. Been saving that in my cheek all night like a chipmunk.

This Medusa Handbag Will Turn You To Stone

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

medusa purseIn Greek mythology Medusa was beheaded by the hero Perseus. Now she is a Purse. That’s what Perseus does. He makes purses out of all of his enemies. That’s because he owned a little boutique in Athens. Dude was all about fashion. And making accessories out of his victims. Makes sense right? I should be a history teacher.

Don’t look into her eyes! She will turn you to stone and then what will you do? It’s not like you have a little robot owl buddy to help you out, like in that Clash of the Titans movie. Basically you will be all like:

I LOOKED! WHY DID I LOOK? BECAUSE I WANTED TO GET MY WALLET OUT AND PUT ON SOME LIPSTICK! WHY? WHY DID I BUY A PURSE THAT CAN TURN ME TO FRIGGIN STONE? EVERYONE THINKS I’M A STATUE NOW! IS THAT A DOG PEEING ON MY LEG?
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Underwear Earrings: Briefs, Not Boxers

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Underwear EarringsUnderwear that’s fun to wear. For your ears. It even has that little wiener door, just like real underwear. Some guys just use the window, meaning they pull their underwear down to drain the dragon. I prefer the door, because it’s more dramatic when a dragon bursts through the door, throwing splinters everywhere and letting out a mighty roar.

Ok, ok. So mine is not so much a dragon as it is a dragonfly. Anyway, it’s not the size, it’s what you do with your wings. Am I right girls? …Girls? Any insect lovers in the audience? I do this thing where I hover, then move, and hover again.

Ice Bucket Challenge Costume

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ice bucket challengeThe Ice Bucket Challenge is raising all kinds of crazy money for ALS. Just dump a bucket of ice on your head and donate. You could just donate I guess, but humans are weird. Now you can dress up in the Ice Bucket Challenge costume for Halloween and live the challenge all night long while collecting candy.