When you love her enough to give her jewelry, give her something she will remember. Like a Maggot Necklace. If you can’t afford the $17 to buy one, just leave some meat outside in the heat and wait. When the maggots show up, all wiggly and nasty, capture one. Stab it and put a chain through it’s body. Then you have a nasty maggot necklace. Your welcome.
Read more “Maggot Necklace”
Category: Creep Wear
Scorpion High Heel Shoe
This creepy-ass scorpion shoe would be perfect for a one-legged witch who lives in the desert. It has wheels in back to urge you forward faster and when it goes too fast that stinger slams down and is all like “Slow down biatch, cause I just poisoned your sorry skank ass. By the way, your feet is stinky as an old cheese slice in a welfare fridge.” Because that’s how Scorpions talk.
Read more “Scorpion High Heel Shoe”
Jewelry With Bite: Denture Bracelet
Bah! Back in my day a loaf of bread was a nickel if you could get to the store in bare feet, without contracting the palsy on the way or getting sidetracked running errands for Edison or Tesla. Why I- Get off my lawn you iPhone loving hipster kids! Who took my dentures?
Read more “Jewelry With Bite: Denture Bracelet”
Furry Monster Under the Bed
This furry and devious looking monster under the bed is licking her lips and looking mischievous. Hold on one damn minute. I recognize her from when I was a kid. It’s all coming back to me now. The lights would go out, I would play a bit of pocket billiards under the blanket, fart, grade the fart, roll over, toss and then stare into the darkness.
Read more “Furry Monster Under the Bed”
Fang Bangers: A Shoe And Scary Death Puppet
This little gem is titled “Monster (Scary) Head – Sculpture”. It is neither a head, nor a sculpture. It barely even qualifies as a monster. It’s a rain boot with Grandpa Munster’s dentures polygripped to the underside. I call it a Fang Banger. Hey, where’d you get those Fang Bangers? Mine are like 2 years old and have all kinds of cavities.
Read more “Fang Bangers: A Shoe And Scary Death Puppet”