Category: Creep Wear

Sexy and Educational Anatomy Tights

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Sexy and Educational Anatomy Tights
Damn girl! Your anatomy is looking tight in those anatomy tights! Sorry if I’m staring. I’m just trying to learn about the body. Mind if I rub my hand all over these images? I’m a very textile learner. What? Oh I meant tactile. Wait, did you smack me cuz I don’t know english or because I was being a perv? Doesn’t really matter at this point. What have I learned from this situation? Well, if I deciphered your tights correctly, I learned that you have a nice hippocampus and I’d really like to enroll there. No? I stand by my interpretation.

Your legs have given me much food for thought and now I’m off to other adventures.

Let’s Rock – Cute Black Lodge Twin Peaks Skirt

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Cute Twin Peaks Skirt
That show you like is going to come back in style. Let’s rock! This Cute Twin Peaks Skirt has the pattern from the floor of the black lodge. You ladies are going to look super sexy in this skirt. Like Dale Cooper, I also like to visit the black lodge, so maybe you can let me in and we can have a good time. It’s cool, I brought my own doppelganger. That guy looks nothing like you. He’s just wearing a paper mask of your face. Yeah, unlike David Lynch I had some budgetary constraints.

Custom Scary Skeleton Waistcoat / Vest

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Custom Skeleton Waistcoat
This Custom Skeleton Waistcoat– Wait, isn’t that a vest? What’s a waistcoat? A coat just for your waist? Something toxic waste disposal guys wear? That thing the guys on the waste disposal truck wear? It’s a vest and that’s that. A cool vest with skeletons on it. It’s what any biker would wear to a formal function to dine of hors’ devours and down some Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Classy and Sassy Bigfoot Embroidered Shirt

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Bigfoot Embroidered Shirt
It takes a real man to carry off this Bigfoot Embroidered Shirt. Then again it only takes a small Bigfoot to carry off a man so… There ya go. Wear this proudly and display Sasquatch to anyone who wants a sighting. Bigfoot is just walking through the trees minding his own bidness, maybe stopping to take a poo and smell a flower. He just wants to be left alone so he can admire nature. And take the occasional poo. Scratch his Sasquatch sack while leaning on a tree. It’s want we all want really.

That’s Dino-Sexy! – Dinosaur Bone Bra

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Dinosaur Bone Bra
Excuse me miss, I couldn’t help but notice your Dinosaur Bone Bra. I happen to be an archeologist and I wondered if I might dig in your field so to speak, in hopes of unearthing proof of the elusive Boob-asaurus Rex. *Smack* A simple No would have sufficed ma’am. No matter, the Jurassic period isn’t my favorite anyway. *Smack* Well, looks like I found a TYRANT-asaurus! *Smack* I’ll leave now cuz I’m sick of getting smacked. But science has suffered several terrible smacks this day.