What the Lynch!!!! I don’t remember Laura Palmer looking like that. I remember an all-American girl. This looks like an all-American ghoul. This Laura Palmer In Coffin Doll comes with some little accessories like a Jumping man toy, and a picture of Laura, which may be a diary. I guess I have to buy it cuz she did say that I would see her again in 25 years. The jumping man really creeps me out with his long nose and jumping skills. Anyone else hungry for some creamed corn?
Category: Creepy Dolls
Terrifying Burnt Faced Baby Doll Head Lamp
Looks like someone has been playing in the lava. This Terrifying Burnt Faced Baby Doll Head Lamp will haunt your room and your nightmares. I bet it looks like a scary floating head when all the lights are out. I hope not cuz I don’t want it to float too close to the curtains and burn my shizz down. I’ll be seeing this in my nightmares tonight.
Mini Praying Mantis Finger Puppet
I can’t be the only one who is creeped out by the Praying Mantis. It is just wrong and creepy. Get it away. Get that Mini Praying Mantis Finger Puppet out of my face. *Sprays raid all over your face* I warned you. You’re gonna wanna put some milk on that. Sorry, I’m all out.
What the hell are they praying for anyway? Even more nightmarish looks? They describe this toy as “Great fun for toddlers and children”. More like “Great fun for the therapists that are gonna get rich cuz your kid is traumatized for life”. And you know why too. F**k Praying Mantises!
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Sound Activated Haunted Talking Doll
This Haunted Talking Doll is real freakfest. Like Freakfest 2017. Get your tickets and enjoy the show. This sound activated doll says things like “Come play with me.” or “I’m watching you.” or “You drop me and I broke and that made me angry.” My advice is, don’t make it angry. It will haunt you, your life and your dreams. Have fun with that.
It looks like it spent the last 200 years in a haunted house and now it will make your house haunted. Not as bad as this though.
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That Exists – Weird Catnip Cat Toy Fetus
Yep, that exists. A Cat Toy Fetus. Great precedent to set. Now cats are going to want to play with fetuses all the time. They’ll be attacking pregnant women just to get at the cat toy they are carrying inside. Great idea. They are gonna give upon mice in favor of their new favorite toy. The fetus. Meh. Whatevs. I guess. At this point I just have a de-fetus attitude.
Also get this fetus for your wall.