Engraved Spider Web Votive Candle Holders

Engraved Spider Web Votive Candle Holders
Light a candle and set a creepy mood with these Engraved Spider Web Votive Candle Holders. Or you can use some plain glass candle holders and set a crappy mood. Your choice. These are perfect for Halloween or any old time. I like to use them, cuz it reminds me that I’m never safe from spiders and if they crawl in these webs, they are gonna burn up. So they are a trap. I’m pretty sure they are dumb enough to do it too. I mean I burnt my hands on Hot Pockets a ton of times and I still haven’t learned.

Candle light, spider web light. What’s the dif?

Dracula – Vlad The Impaler Leather Journal

Vlad The Impaler Leather Journal
Sweet journal. This Vlad The Impaler Leather Journal is hand made with some amazing attention to detail. I made a poem about it:

Vlad The Impaler
Used an inhaler.
Asked a girl to date,
but he never got to nail her.
So can he really be known as Vlad the Impaler?
I think not.

You could write your own poems in this journal. Or draw pictures of vampires and stuff. It’s gonna be sweet. Or get this one, which is also awesome.

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Horror Movie Wine Glasses

Horror Movie Wine Glasses
AWhimsicalHoot (I see what ya did there) sells some pretty cool Horror Movie Wine Glasses. You know, if you like getting drunk and scared at the same time. Which I do. Marriage is all about being drunk and scared. So I’m ready. Poor me some of that good stuff. *Spits* It all tastes like grapes dipped in vinegar. Whatever, I’ll power through. I wanna drink from every horror character ever and gain their powers. *Drinks all night.* Awesome. I now have the power of lame sequels that never end. You can choose from Freddy Krueger, Jaws, Scream, Saw and many more.

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Mega Macabre Monstrous Mutated Mutation

Monstrous Mutated Mutation
What the shizz! I don’t know if this Monstrous Mutated Mutation is some dude who ate too much at the McDonald’s in Chernobyl, or a mutated peen and sack that had too much viagra from the Fukushima pharmaceutical factory. I’m guessing the latter. If it starts growing suddenly or vomits a stream of pee, I guess we’ll know. I can’t unsee it and now neither can you. It ain’t no tardigrade.

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Fortune Teller Skull Hourglass and Crystal Ball

Fortune Teller Skull Hourglass
How do fortune tellers tell time? They don’t tell time, they tell fortunes. Which is probably why they use stuff like this Fortune Teller Skull Hourglass to tell the time instead of watches. Hey Fortune Teller. Tell my fortune to get here quick, cuz I’m sick of waiting to get rich. Come to think of it, every time I pay you I lose a bit of my fortune. Good day madame. I said good day. That’s the last time I visit a fortune telling squirrel.