Category: Just Plain Weird

Spirit Board Crates – The Real Spirit Box

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Spirit Board Crates - The Real Spirit Box
Get your Spirit Board Crates here! They are perfect for holding your spirit boards. Because who doesn’t have like a ton of Ouija boards hanging around the house? Get like 100 of these crates, fill ’em with Ouija boards, then put ’em in a truck and transport them across the country! What are the odds that this shipment makes it? Or it does make it, but every other car it passes is demolished and run off the road by a thousand specters! Or you could just, you know, decorate with these spirit board crates. And let the spirits have their way with your home.

If you want an actual spirit board, check out the Call The Mothman spirit board.

6 Headed Clock – Half Past Horror

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6 Headed Clock - Half Past Horror
With this 6 Headed Clock, it’s always time for terror. Six heads are better than one I guess. Six screaming tormented heads. I only wish that they screamed on the hour, every hour. Hey man, what time is it? Well, let me look at the cl- WHAT THE SHIZZ? HOLY HELL. KILL IT! TIME IS A LIE! *Passes out*

Now to start my script titled “Six heads Tormented Through Time” starring Nicolas Cage in a six role tour de’ force. It will make you vomit. It will make you hurl. It will make you chuck and those heads don’t give a f**k! And in case you didn’t know, here’s a clock featuring Edgar Allan Poe. It ain’t no 6 Headed Clock, but whatevs.

Dill Pickle Scented Alien Head Candle

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Dill Pickle Scented Alien Head Candle
So what’s the big dill? This Dill Pickle scented Alien head candle, that’s what. Why dill? Why the hell not? For all I know that’s what they probe you with. That would be quite a pickle. Definitely not an i-dill situation. Anyway, if you want the sweet scent of dill while staring at a burning alien head you might be high and if not you can have that experience right here with this strange Scented Alien Head Candle. It doesn’t probe my bung-hole so much as it blows my mind.

Now I’m gonna open up a jar of pickles and put them in briefcases so we can all play dill or no deal like I was Howie Man-dill. That would be my I-dill Friday night anyway. That show is a vlasic. I mean a classic. And I think I just ran out of pickle jokes. It had to happen sooner or later. Nothing lasts forever. Not even a green alien head candle burning brightly while emitting the sweet scent of pickles. Which are just elderly cucumbers if we are being honest. If I sound drunk it’s because I am. I’ve been downing loads of this Alien Beer. It is not pickle flavored.

Black Gothic Heart Wall Pocket

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Black Gothic Heart Wall Pocket
At first, I thought that this Black Gothic Heart Wall Pocket was where you keep the hearts of your enemies, but it’s just shaped like a heart. With an awesome skull on it too. Me? I wear my heart on my sleeve, not my pocket, so you could say I have a heart-on. And it is painted on my sleeve with a fire and barb wire design. So you could say it is a raging heart-on. Get it? No you don’t because I’m saving myself. For myself later tonight. It’s going to be very romantic, with candles, a bath and lots and lots of crying. But I definitely have a heart-on for this gothic decor. This wall pocket is perfect for a blood rose or some deadly herbs. It has an old world charm with a suitable creepy vibe for your home.

Wall pockets make me think of hot pockets, so now I’m hungry. I’m off to get some food, but before I go, don’t forget that you can also check out this cool Black Heart Soap. They look just like real hearts, but instead of blood on your hands, you’ll get soap all over your hands. Soap is much better.

Nightmare Pizza Wall Hanging

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Nightmare Pizza Wall Hanging
This Nightmare Pizza Wall Hanging takes your favorite food and turns it into nightmare fuel for your wall. If you’ve ever dreamed (Or nightmared) of displaying your own psychotic slice of nightmare pizza on the wall, urine luck. I have no doubt that this thing will kill me in the night if I even look at another slice of pizza. Or if I dare sleep in a slice of pizza sleeping bag. (while caressing that sweet crust all night long. Ohhh I love you pizza cocoon. I am the stuffing in your crust.) This slice ain’t scaring me. I’m a pizza slut. I sleep around with pizza and in it as often as I can. Hell, I have a pizza oriented onlyfans.

Luckily for me, I have my own za on the wall and that’s only because I throw pizza at my wall when I get it. Isn’t that how you know it’s cooked? Oh, wait that’s pasta. Reminds me, I still have a bunch of that on the wall too. That, some ravioli, a few mashed potato splats, and the stray booger or two… I really should clean my walls. With a spatula. Better make that one of those indutrail paint scrapers.