I don’t know about you, but massacres make me hungry. Especially the Texas Chainsaw variety. This Texas Chainsaw Massacre Lunch Box is a great way to carry your lunch. I would suggest cutting your sandwich in half with a chainsaw, just to keep things authentic and all. Or you could use it to store your other stuff in. Either way it an awesome lunch box honoring a classic horror movie.
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Kill Time Coloring Books
These Kill Time Coloring Books are designed to give you peace of mind. Did someone piss you off? Well, don’t yell and curse at them. Color your anger away and release the tension in your life by coloring some of the greatest horror kills of all time. That’s how you relieve stress like an adult. Don’t grab your machete, grab your crayons. Then go in for the kill.
Zombie Magnetic Poetry Kit
Make some zombie poetry with the Zombie Magnetic Poetry Kit. Put your creations on the fridge or other metal surface. I don’t know about you, but I find zombie poetry to be beautiful and romantic. If I create zombie poetry and display it on my fridge, does that count as being published? I’m gonna say yeah. But I get too distracted by the fridge and leave my poetry half finished, but never my burrito. That always gets finished. I’m just no good under pressure and by that I mean I get all gassy and crampy and doubled over, until the pressure is relieved. Then it’s back to snacking while I stare at the words in a kitchen that smells like a trash heap.
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Creepy Raven Skeleton
Everyone is raven about this bony raven. Caw! caw! Cuz he’s bones. This Creepy Raven Skeleton just wants to perch somewhere in your home. No pooping all over your stuff. He promises. This guy is gonna look so cool in my creepy library. What? No, it’s not decorated scary per se, I just find fancy book learning to be creepy. Plus having a library makes me look smart. Guard my books skeleton bird and make sure that I never have the urge to learn!
These Plush Skull Slippers Have No Soles
These kicks have kicked the bucket. These slippers have lost their sole. These Plush Skull Slippers must be what the Grim Reaper wears on his day off, when he’s just reaping around the house. You know, he’s sewn a lot all week and on the weekend he’s gotta reap what he has sewn. I would just stop sewing. Problem solved.
Anyway, these slippers are to die for. I hear that if you want a larger size you have to throw down calcium chews and just let them gobble them up. Cuz calcium builds bigger and stronger bones. Get it? Whatevs.
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