Have a pint with Dracula, or a zombie, or a jack-o-lantern or a skeleton. These Scary Monster Pint Glasses make everything a monster drink! Of course having a pint with dracula means a pint of blood. Your blood. I’m type O myself. As in “Oh sh*t he’s drinking my blood!” These glasses are perfect for Halloween or everyday scares. Beer me Zombie! Let’s get this party started.
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Zombie with Dress-Up Clothes Vinyl Magnet Set
I don’t know how many times I’ve said it. You have to dress up your zombie. I can’t stress this enough. Your Zombie can’t just walk around naked. I mean their naughty parts are all rotten and putrid for one thing. Dress them up people, or don’t keep them as pets. It’s that simple. This Zombie with Dress-Up Clothes Vinyl Magnet Set will help teach you how to dress them for success. Put these magnets on the fridge and have fun putting clothes on an undead form. There’s even a beer can in there. Or maybe it’s an energy drink.
Dress this one and dress the real thing. This ain’t no game peeps. Naked Zombies are the worst. But their naked bodies got a lot of shame in their game. True dat!
Dracula Tissue Box Cover
Have you been bitten by a Vampire? If so, dry your tears on some tissues from this Dracula Tissue Box Cover. You know what they say.Once bitten twice shy. What the hell does that even mean? That I’m gonna be bashful if another Vampire bites me? Hell no. I’m a little tease. I’m gonna be all batting my eyelashes and flirting. Then when he’s distracted, I’m gonna bite him instead and turn him human, cuz that’ll work. Then when he is holding his neck and saying, “Ow! What the-” I’m gonna knee him in the nuts and run.
Bigfoot Pocket Journal 3 Pack
I gotta get me this Bigfoot Pocket Journal 3 Pack cuz I always see Bigfoot in the woods, and one time at the 7-11, but that last one may have been some lady with a LOT of testosterone. I couldn’t tell by the grunting or the big booty waddle. I’d use these to recount all of my Bigfoot sightings.
December 17th Saw Bigfoot taking a deuce in a forest stream. *Draws picture of Sasquatch all bent over and grunting,dropping a cleveland steamer that kills a frog.* January 5th. Saw Bigfoot masturbating. Stepped on a twig and he quickly stopped and pretended he was sleeping all along. *Draws Bigfoot doing his thing. Writes HAHA with an arrow pointing towards his tiny weenie.*
I would fill these things in 5 seconds. People doubt that he exists, but how can you not see him? He’s like ten feet tall.
Men’s I Believe Aliens Crew Socks
Do you believe? The truth is out there man. Aliens exist. These Men’s I Believe Aliens Crew Socks prove it. They show an alien being beamed up into a UFO and waving, all like, “So long and thanks for the sh*t sample!” Damn, how many samples do you guys need? Do you have like a giant poop jar in the middle of the ship or is a colonoscopy just an international alien greeting? You guys should really brush up on your diplomacy. Enough with the butt-stuff!