Make some zombie poetry with the Zombie Magnetic Poetry Kit. Put your creations on the fridge or other metal surface. I don’t know about you, but I find zombie poetry to be beautiful and romantic. If I create zombie poetry and display it on my fridge, does that count as being published? I’m gonna say yeah. But I get too distracted by the fridge and leave my poetry half finished, but never my burrito. That always gets finished. I’m just no good under pressure and by that I mean I get all gassy and crampy and doubled over, until the pressure is relieved. Then it’s back to snacking while I stare at the words in a kitchen that smells like a trash heap.
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Tag: poetry
Cthulhu And Other Leather Bound Journals
MetalSomeArt sells some awesome leather bound journals. Heh. Leather bound. Sounds kinky. 50 Shades of Paper. Get it? Anyway, they have many cool journals to choose from. Cthulhu, Tarot Cards, all kinds of cool stuff. They have awesome brass plates in front. That’s what makes ’em look so fancy. So shiny. I’m gonna get one so I can write down my deepest innermost thoughts.
*Opens journal. Starts to write.* Hmmm. Nothing’s coming to me. Damn writer’s block. I hate that. Why you blockin’ me bro? What do you have against writers and why are you invisible? Silence huh? Well, nobody blocks me you blockhead. I’ll just journal about you.
Dear Diary. Today writer’s block tried to block me from your crisp white pages. But I don’t let bullies win. He’s a poopy pants which is why this entry sounds like a 2 year old rather than being in my usual 4 year old style. I hate that guy. Always blocking. Always lurking. P.S. I like your brass plate on your cover. So shiny and pretty. I like to touch it. Will you be my girlfriend? K bye.
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Holiday Bunny Butts
Nothing says Christmas like a trio of bunny butts with Santa hats on them. Deck the halls with dingle-berries fa la la la la la la la la. At $50 a rabbit butt, this trio of tushies will cost you $150. I know this because as a kid I was hooked on math phonics, but I kicked the habit years ago. Yay me!
Click through for a touching holiday poem.
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Inflatable Toast
Inflatable Toast is the toast of the town. It is guaranteed to turn your frown upside down. That much is certain. But what the hell do you do with it? Hang it from your car rearview mirror? Present it to a mouse as a nice comfy air mattress?
I have no idea. I just really love toast enough to buy this. Toast is awesome. Buttery toast with jam. Yummy. Maybe I will use this as a toast rest. I have no idea, but I feel a rhyme coming on.
Inflatable Toast.
Blow it up with some air.
Put some butta on dat b**ch
like you don’t even care.
Spread it real good
till it’s nice and creamy.
I eat toast in the shower
all nice and steamy.
Bottom of ma toaster
all filled with crumbs.
All you haters of carbs
are f***ing dumb!
Spam Night Light: Wham Bam Thank You Spam
Night lights keep monsters away. This SPAM night light keeps other more nutritious foods away while it beckons you with it’s ominous evil glow.
Spam, Spam,
The magical meat.
The more your eat,
The more you mess your seat.
Bake it, fry it.
You’ll never want to diet.
Open the can and down that juice,
Then sit on the can and let it loose.