It’s all about the Benjamins. Those soft and comfortable beanbag Benjamins. Your love of money knows no bounds, so cuddle up with a hundred dolla bill. Put your booty in Benjamin Franklin’s face and shake your money maker. Sink down deep into that green and sniff that chedda. Lay all over that sweet stash o cash. Jump on your Money beanbag chair in triumph. Cuz this is the life.
Hundred dolla bill yall!
Read more “Rest Your Legal Tender On This Money Beanbag Chair”
Sweeet! This snake scarf is exactly what I need to battle the cold and look fashionably creepy this winter. I’ll wear it outside and then shed my scarf like snakeskin when inside again. You can call me Snake Plissken, or Rocky Bal-Boa constrictor. Even Cobra Commander. But don’t call me snake-neck the nerd. Them’s fighting words.
No way I’m wearing it on a plane though. I’ll ask for like one drink too many and the stewardess will be all like, “I have had it with these motherf***in’ snakes on this motherf***in’ plane!” Damn! Chill! Why don’t you sit down beside me and tell me all about it Sam Jackson. And while we’re at it, why the hell are you my stewardess today?
Read more “Awesome Snake Scarf Is One Warm Snake-Cessory”
Ever since the Super Bowl, everyone is talking about Left Shark. The internet is going crazy for this dancing fool. So what? He made some mistakes. So his timing was a little off. At least he didn’t eat anybody. And that’s really hard to do when you’re in a shark suit.
You know he just wanted to take a bite out of Katy Perry. Me too. She looks delicious. She can be my chum anytime. Plus, do you have any idea how hard it is to dance with an erection? You try it. Throws your whole game off and you can’t even adjust your junk with fins. You need man hands for that.
Anyway, now he is a meme. He’s also an awesome piece of artwork. You just do your thing Left Shark. Be the dancing fool that we love.
Find a “groovy” version here and another version here.
Read more “Katy Perry Teenage Dream Left Shark Painting”
See that? That’s what I think about your stick figure family. I stomped all over your precious little backseat-barnacles, then snapped their bones with my teeth, their sweet stick figure blood dripping down my T-Rex chin. I let mommy and daddy live just so they could spread the word to other stick figure families. Then I roared a mighty roar of victory! Well, not victory exactly. Was trying to find a sweet dino-mate who has some extra swing in her tail.
Put this Your Stick Figure Family Was Delicious T-Rex Decal on your ride and let all of those stick figure families know that they have been pwned.
Pew! Pew! Pew! My Tank slippers sank your battleship. That’s what you get for wearing battleship slippers on desert themed carpeting. The tanks are gonna win every time. Let me throw you a lifeline and I’ll tow you to safety. Get it? Tow you? Toe you?
You’re welcome! Oh I thought you said tanks for the joke. My mistake. I’ll tread more carefully. Are you even getting all of these awesome tank jokes? Whatevs. I’m gonna go make some Rommel Ramen noodles and chill.