Tag: sticker

Nosferatu Creepin’ Up Your Stairs…Coming To Get You

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Nosferatu Creepin' Up Your Stairs
Oh hell no. Stay away from me Nosferatu. I see your shadow. Because I keep all of the lights on in case you boogeymen come to get me. All full of boogers and probably blowing your nose in some old handkerchief. I’m not scared of you. I’m just exiting the house and standing in the snow because I’m hot. That’s all. Do what you want in there. You own the place now. I’m a lover, not a fighter. I’ll sign the deed over first thing in the morning.

This is actually how I lost my first house, by giving it away to a Nosferatu vinyl decal I forgot was there. I hope he’s happy on his one wall, with no one to scream like a sissy every time I would turn the corner.

So basically what you have here is Nosferatu on vinyl. Great album. Had classics like, The Transylvania Twerk, It’s Raining Blood(Hallelujah), The Nosferatu Shuffle, You Are The Wind Beneath My Bat-Wings and my personal favorite, Your Neck, My Mouth.

Kraken Tentacle Wall Decals

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Kraken tentacles wall decal
Hey, what’s Kraken? These Kraken Tentacle Wall Decals, that’s what? It wants to give you a big hug, then pull you down to drown in the murky depths. Kind of like my Aunt Louise always did, except she’ll pinch your cheeks first, then pull you in for a hug so you can suffocate in her massive bosoms. That might not have been so bad, but Aunt Louise used to be Aunt Louie. I had an awkward childhood.

At family get-togethers my dad would hold him/her back at the door, then yell, “Unleash the Kraken!” and all the kids would run. I was always too slow.
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Bitten Baloney Sandwich on White Bread

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Bitten Baloney Sandwich on White Bread
I guess the whole Bitten Baloney Sandwich on White Bread thing has become a decorating trend. Glad I could start a fad. You leave your sandwiches unattended often enough and people start to imitate you. I prefer PB and J myself.

This wall decal is bound to improve the value of your mobile home. I’m just assuming that if this is your sandwich of choice, you are not really dodging a tornado right now, while pink lawn flamingos and Budweiser cans whirl around you.

Your Stick Figure Family Was Delicious T-Rex Decal

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t rex stick figure family
See that? That’s what I think about your stick figure family. I stomped all over your precious little backseat-barnacles, then snapped their bones with my teeth, their sweet stick figure blood dripping down my T-Rex chin. I let mommy and daddy live just so they could spread the word to other stick figure families. Then I roared a mighty roar of victory! Well, not victory exactly. Was trying to find a sweet dino-mate who has some extra swing in her tail.

Put this Your Stick Figure Family Was Delicious T-Rex Decal on your ride and let all of those stick figure families know that they have been pwned.

This Will Come In Handy: Snake Warning Sticker

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snake stickerThis sticker will come in very handy at the office. And it will help with my pending sexual harassment case. Which I can’t talk about. I can say that it was already on the door and she had fair warning. I am so going to skate free of that charge!

Note to self. Still have to hire a new secretary.