Phrenology Head Cufflinks

Phrenology Head Cufflinks
Phrenology is the study of the head. True science. You can learn a lot by looking at a head. Like if it has lice or hasn’t been washed in like 5 days. So totally true. These Phrenology Head Cufflinks honor this science and put some classic looking cue balls on your cuffs.

Go ahead, feel my head and tell me all about my metal disorders and personality traits.

*Touches my head and massages my scalp.* This spot says that you are a very creative person.

Nah, that’s just where I fell and hit my head. Although I was creatively doing Jackass stunts at the time and having my friend hit me in the nuts while going down a windy mountain road doing about 50 in a shopping cart.

This area is all about your sex life.

Is it small? Is it a tiny area? Yeah, then that’s accurate too.

See, it’s a real science. No doubt about it.

Zombie Autopsy Key Chain

Zombie Autopsy Key Chain
This Zombie Autopsy Key Chain is made from a doll head. Probably Barbie herself. It will help you to never lose your keys again. Cuz how can you lose your keys when they are attached to a zombie with his brain showing? You know what I just noticed? They have one of those fancy flame printed keys. Sweet! Dude probably has a hot rod with a matching paint job.

That’s okay cuz my key matches my car too. They’re both sh**ty and rusty. But I ain’t bitter.

Realistic Brain Necklace

Realistic Brain Necklace
If I want to wear a Realistic Brain Necklace, does that make me a fashion zombie? I do crave it. Kinda want to bite it even. And lick it. Just put me out of my misery right now cuz I won’t be happy until I get this juicy brain accessory and wear it around my neck. Still gonna lick that thing though cuz I’m freaky like that. It looks so ooey and gooey.

Brain Candle Holder

Brain Candle Holder
Where are my keys? I would forget my brain if it wasn’t holding my candle. Good thing it is, thanks to this Brain Candle Holder that looks like a giant brain meatball that got impaled with a candle. Sorry I forgot to turn the light on, my brain was under it. Hang on a sec. Are we sure that isn’t just a lump of raw meat?

Whatevs. I’m buying one. Cuz I’m brainy like that. I just don’t leave mine on the table so any Tom, Dick or Harry can attach a light to it.

Mad Scientist Brain Specimen in a Jar Top Hat

Mad Scientist Brain Specimen in a Jar Top Hat
I think I found my Halloween hat. This Mad Scientist Brain Specimen in a Jar Top Hat is gonna look awesome on my noggin. I’d tip my hat to you, but my brains would leak all over the place. On your suit, in your eye. HE BLINDED ME, WITH SCIENCE. Actually brain juice. Why are scientists so mad anyway? Probably cuz they don’t get enough sleep. Science is tiring. It should be called shy-ence cuz these dorks are all working alone in rooms underground and stuff.
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