Tag: dolls

Garbage Patch Runts: Custom Garbage Pail Kids Made From Cabbage Patch Dolls

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Garbage Pail kids dollsMichelle Martin is a brilliant lady. She takes Cabbage Patch Kids, which are already disturbing, and turns them into Garbage Pail Kids, which are even more disturbing. If you want to buy one you can check out the link above. Yeah, these are not your mother’s Cabbage Patch Kids that she beat other adults over the head for and served time for back in the day. Crazy times.

Beating yourself senseless over a doll is not a good idea. Unless it’s a love doll and you are just trying to get one out real quick while you’re alone. But I digress. These monstrosities don’t come with smiles and sweet little adoption papers. These Garbage Pail Kids only come with two things. Crazy mutations and (I’m guessing) a lot of emotional baggage.
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Jilted Bride Wedding Dress Halloween Costume

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jilted bride wedding dressIt’s a nice day for a…White Wedding. This Halloween, go trick or treating as a jilted bride, complete with plastic naked babies sewn all over it. It even has one baby desperately clinging to the end of the train. I’m pretty sure I watched a reality TV show with this premise.

If you wear this costume on Halloween this year, you know you’ll get a ton of candy just because you have all of those mouths to feed. Plus people will feel sorry for you since some guy knocked you up a million times and left you at the alter.

The seller wore this costume to a Halloween party and won the best dressed award. She says she was trying to impress the guy who is now her husband when they first met. No worries dude, I would have screamed and ran too.
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Sammy Davis Jr. And Mini Burt Reynolds Dolls Are Ready To Haunt You

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sammy davis jr and burt reynoldsThis Ebay auction is for 4 haunted dolls for $9,999.99. But I’m only concerned about these two here. I don’t care what names they go by, I know Sammy Davis Jr. and Burt Reynolds anywhere. Together they will party down and haunt the sh*t out of a place. They starred in the Cannonball Run movies together. Burt is still alive, but whatever.

The seller says that these dolls are of the Guatemalan/Mayan Folk Saint San Simón Maximon. The seller also says:

“These things are powerful as sh*t. I have NEVER had Magick work so effectively as with San Simón.”

That is powerful. And since magic is spelled with a k, you know these dolls are gonna bring the funk and the psycho-kinetic gunk (ectoplasm). Basically the seller claims that they made a pact with this entity and he won’t let them out of the deal. So they are selling the dolls.

However, you will have to offer this spirit “money, tobacco, booze, black candles, bread or cakes, etc”. Well, that explains why these dolls are smoking up and sitting amid a pile of booze and coins. Sammy D and Burt Reynolds always did like to live it up. Now they are holding this poor seller hostage. And I find that hilarious. They can have my bread and cakes, even the money, but my booze and smokes are off limits.

Husband & Wife Haunt These Dolls In Unholy Matrimony

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haunted dolls
A deceased Turkish husband and wife haunt this pair of creepy old dolls. According to Ebay Seller Newmoonchild, “They were procured and purchased in 1974 from a young girl and her uncle. They were handmade by the little girl’s father for her.” Already, there is a big hole in this story- the seller purchased them from the young girl whose father made them for her? Wouldn’t these dolls be a prized possession? Her father made them especially for her and is supposedly haunting one of the dolls.  Why would the girl want to sell them to some stranger?
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