Have you been bitten by a Vampire? If so, dry your tears on some tissues from this Dracula Tissue Box Cover. You know what they say.Once bitten twice shy. What the hell does that even mean? That I’m gonna be bashful if another Vampire bites me? Hell no. I’m a little tease. I’m gonna be all batting my eyelashes and flirting. Then when he’s distracted, I’m gonna bite him instead and turn him human, cuz that’ll work. Then when he is holding his neck and saying, “Ow! What the-” I’m gonna knee him in the nuts and run.
Tag: dracula
Dracula by Bram Stoker Scarf
You gotta protect your neck from vampires. The best way to do it is with this Dracula by Bram Stoker Scarf. No vampire is going to bite your neck cuz they will be too busy admiring your scarf. You will be spared. Hell I spared someone the other night cuz- Did I say me? I meant a vampire friend of mine. I ain’t no bloodsucker. Can I have a bite of that burrito? *Chomp* Is that garlic? *HISSSSSSS* No one shall be spared this night!
Horror Novel Whiskey Glasses
Whiskey. It’s what’s for dinner! That probably explains why my liver is the size of a- Wait. Where’d it go? Got so small it disappeared. One more drink outta bring it back. Check out these Horror Novel Whiskey Glasses. They have the opening lines of the books right there on the glass. Pretty cool. Now I can get literate while I’m getting s**t-faced. AKA s**t-erate! They have Frankenstein and Dracula. Hopefully they will add more so I can catch up on my reading while I’m pounding one back.
Universal Monsters Prayer Candle Set
Really enjoying my Universal Monsters Prayer Candle Set. Every night I light these bad boys and pray. Dear God, please don’t let Frankenstein’s monster find my house. Or his wife. Please don’t let the mummy invade my dreams and suffocate me by wrapping me in his bandages while he turns into my doppelganger and lives my life. Just keep me safe k? Thanks.
Mad Monsters Series 1 Action Figures – Why So Angry?
You mad bro? Drop rip my face off k? Do you like monsters? Do you like retro toys? These Mad Monsters Series 1 Action Figures are what you want to play with. You get Human Wolfman, Dreadful Dracula, Monster Frankenstein and Horrible Mummy. Why is Mummy horrible? Cuz she never leaves me alone when I’m playing video games and always makes me clean the cat box and stuff. Whatevs. She’s not the boss of me. I do what I want! I’m getting really off track here. The point is, these figures are cool.
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