Imma sit back and relax on Halloween, watch my favorite monsters. Then after I’ve had enough of watching my parents fight Imma watch this The Classic Monster Coffin Blu-Ray Collection – 8 Disc Box Set. This is really the first time anything good has ever come out of a coffin. Except for that time I stole my uncle Henry’s rolex at the viewing.
This set gives you Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy, The Invisible Man, Bride of Frankenstein and The Wolf Man.
Check out these adorable Funko Universal Monsters. They have Dracula, Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, The Phantom of the Opera, Metaluna Mutant, Wolfman, Mummy & The Creature from the Black Lagoon. All looking pretty damn adorable. You monsters clean up pretty well. You are all looking presentable and ready for my shelf. Try not to attack my other toys, k?
This Gothic Halloween Coaster Set is pretty cool. They will protect your surfaces and tickle your funny bone. Your humorous to be specific. Ha. I made a funny. They feature wolfman, dracula and Van Helsing. They are perfect for Halloween.
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Man, I really love this book. I’m all wrapped up in it. Get it? I’m all wrapped up in this Dracula Novel Book Scarf. Vlad the impaler? More like Vlad, the ensconcer. It’s a novel. It’s a scarf. For all I know, it’s a novel about a young scarf who thinks it’s a novel, but really it’s a drug-addled guy who is scarfing some food down. That’s some head-trippy inception stuff right there. Mind blown by that theory! Good think that theory bought my mind dinner first. Do I even know what I’m saying? I wouldn’t put money on it.
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These Edible Dracula Coffin Cookies look delicious. I would buy ’em if I had the dough. Also would bake ’em if I had the dough. Which I dough not.
*Hack* *Hack* *Wretch* *Coughs all over a sheet of freshly baked cookies.*
You okay man? You sound like you’re hacking up a lung.
I’m fine. Just making some coughin’ cookies. Can’t make ’em without coughin’. *Looks at the recipe.* Ohhhhhhh. I see what I did wrong. Coffin, not coughin’! Oh well, everybody eat up. You might as well call in sick for work tomorrow right now. Patient zero is in the kitchen!
Update: These are cookie toppers. Not cookies. Cuz I’m a hungry idiot.