Mommie Dearest / Joan Crawford Limited Edition Ceiling Fan Blades

mommy dearestNo more wire hangers! Okay. Okay. Damn. Chill mom! Stop beating me with the damn things already. I’m going plastic, I swear! These Mommie Dearest / Joan Crawford Limited Edition Ceiling Fan Blades will remind you to call your mom on Mother’s Day or to move several states away.

Good thing that kid didn’t have these blades on her ceiling fan. Joan Crawford would have REALLY freaked the hell out, ripping the blades off fan and beating her with them.

Bonus video of Mommy Dearest below. And I thought my mom freaked out when she stepped on LEGO pieces!
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Sharkini Sexy Shark Costume / Bathing Suit

sharkiniIf you can’t beat them, join them. In other words, we all know you are going to be bitten by a shark if you swim in the ocean, so you may as well wear a bikini with a shark bite taken out of it already. Makes sense. Maybe the sharks will leave you alone. No one likes leftovers.

Anyway, that’s what the sharkini is all about. Beating sharks at their own game. Those prehistoric toothy bastards scare me to death. Maybe I can use the sharkini to take a swim safely too. Nah. That would be a whale in shark’s clothing. Know what I’m sayin’? No? *sigh* Basically I’m fat and like comics. Happy now? For the record, I’m just big boned. Like fossils from the Jurassic period big. What of it?

Hey, check out that sharkini model. Can’t blame the shark for takin’ a bite outta that. Am I right?
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People Pot Pie: It’s What’s For Dinner

people pot pieEtsy seller ItCameFromUnderMyBed is quite the wiz in the kitchen. Apparently, she specializes in pot pies. People Pot Pies. Pot Pies that are made out of people!

I’m not stealing a pie from her windowsill ever. Besides, for $15 I can get a real pot pie from the bakery across the street and I’m pretty sure that one isn’t made of people. Although it does share a dark alley with a Chinese place where dogs and cats wander in and are never seen again. People too actually. Sure, sometimes it “looks” like a face on the crust, but that’s just my imagination. Just like that earring I found inside was my imagination playing tricks on me. That’s all… *crying* Are people-less pot pies sacred to no one anymore?
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Gotta Cosplay ‘Em All: Pokemon Ash Costume

pokemon cosplayNo dressing like Ash and throwing pokeballs at animals around your neighborhood won’t be weird at all. Get Ash’s green fingerless gloves and red and white baseball cap and you’ll be ready to catch them all. I don’t know about you, but in my neighborhood squirrels are the most common Pokemon. And guess what? They never evolve.

Sure, you can catch them, but the only thing they do is run around your house and bury your peanut m & m’s under the floorboards, while covering your floor in poop.

Twin Peaks Red Room Diorama In A Can

twin peaks dioramaEtsy seller Boxartig is selling this cool Twin Peaks Red Room Diorama which comes in a fancy can. Pretty neat. If you want to relive some scenes from the classic show, it beats hiring a dwarf and pumping him full of acid so he dances around, snapping his fingers while talking backwards.
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