What The Cluck?: Mask Made Of Chicken Skin

chicken skin maskDamn, that’s nasty. Do you want chicken face? Well, you can have chicken face. With this freaky chicken skin mask, you can freak everyone the hell out! Especially chickens. I’m way behind on my TV viewing. Is this from the latest American Horror Story? Cause that one involves a chicken masked serial killer this year right? I’ll check on that.

Anyway, this nightmare inducing mask is made of actual chicken skin and will fit “a small framed woman’s face”. Sorry large guys, you’ll have to find your serial killer creeper mask elsewhere. Damn, that’s nasty. Plus, you wasted the tastiest part of fried chicken.
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Roach covered Bustier: Your Trailer Park Wedding Is Complete

roach bustierThis roach covered bustier is perfect for Halloween. If you already have a roach problem then you probably already own some clothing that looks like this. It’s also great for Trailer Park weddings, whether there’s a shotgun involved or not.

Very appropriate if both roaches and marriage make your skin crawl. Me? I’m total marriage material. That material just happens to be covered in roaches like this bustier.
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The Skull Chair Awaits It’s Next Victim

skull chairWhat manner of skulduggery is this? You mean this is a skull that I can actually sit in? I think those teeth might hurt my butt. That guy looks pretty comfortable though. He’s just chilling, reading the sales circulars. He looks so relaxed he appears to be on the verge of dropping a Cleveland Steamer, but he forgot to take those mailman shorts off. That’s gonna be messy.

Okay. Looks comfy. I’ll take one. And I promise not to get so relaxed that I poop myself. It doesn’t have a tongue right? I’m not playing some weird fanny tickle game with my furniture.
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KFC + DIY = WTF: Chicken Bone Necklace

Chicken Bone Necklace This chicken bone necklace is the perfect gift from any Fred Flintstone to their Wilma. Those are KFC bones. I recognize them because they look just like the ones thrown all over my apartment. Minus the ants all drowning in grease and 11 secret herbs and spices, of course.

I really need to learn to cook for myself. And clean.
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Nicolas Cage As Pokemon – Cage Them All: Starter Pack

Nicolas Cage As PokemonEtsy seller jbellzamyy is a Pokemon Master. Don’t believe me? Go to the Etsy shop and see for yourself. The seller has caught every Nicolas Cage Pokemon imaginable and now you can collect them all and get seizures from the cartoon or whatever it is you kids do.

There are all kinds of Cage Pokemon available. Gotta Cage them all. Here is a sweet deal on a starter pack. Get some of these and soon you’ll be trading them with your friends and stealing from your mom’s purse to feed your crazy nerd habit.