I’ve never seen a pair of watermelons crawling through the grass like that. Don’t worry, I won’t tell Gallagher. These watermelons look nice and ripe and have super nice rinds. Wait, it’s a female! Wearing a watermelon skirt. Good thing you got up. Slithering through the grass like that, your rump looked like two ripe melons walking down the aisle.
I still stand by what I said. You have a nice be-rind. And that’s coming from a guy who prefers the seedless variety.
Hey lady, nice jeans. *Bats eyelashes.* Thanks, I guess I’m just drawn that way.
Why buy jeans when you’re just going to get holes and tears in them? Why buy jeans with holes and tears in them already? You can just buy these Cartoon Jean Leggings With Rips And Tears. The jeans are fake and so is all of the wear. Plus they look sexy as hell. Hey, I like a good cartoon butt as much as the next guy.
Cartoon butts just make me nuts!
These jeans don’t house no Pizza Huts.
Stuffed crust. Thin crust.
These butts don’t care.
They’re looking good in cartoon wear.
If tights could talk, this one would say, “I vant to bite your butt!” Now that’s something to sink your teeth into. These Vampire Teeth Tights are adorable. Perfect for Halloween or just everyday creepwear. I gotta say those are some long legs. You can’t hear me, but I’m doing cat-calls right now and woot-ing it up!
Actually calf calls would be more appropriate since we’re talking tights. You got some nice calves and I ain’t talking baby cows. That lady over there? She’s got nice baby cows. You have nice calves. And that’s no bull.
This BatCape Poncho says I am a creature of the night and don’t I look fabulous?
Yes. Yes you do. Now stop prancing around in that thing and let’s go fight crime already! *Looks down at my leotard, elf shoes and boy shorts.* Why did I have to be Robin again? Oh yeah, that’s right, it looked like a pregnant bat when I wore it. Now I just look like a pregnant elf. *Punches one gloved hand into the other!* Let’s do this thing!
Read more “This BatCape Poncho Makes You The Head Bat Honcho”
She wore a teeny weeny zombie bikini…. And that was the day I decided to become a zombie hunter. Nah, not really. I thought it just sounded like the beginning of a cool love story.
I must be a zombie too, because that bikini makes my heart skip a beat and suddenly I’m all about the flesh. Brains? Who needs ’em? I didn’t get this far with brains. Oh you mean your brain. Sure, I guess it’s alright. Sure, I dig your brain. It’s why I approached you in the first place. Yeah. Wanted to mention some uh, philosopy and stuff.