Tag: fun

Holographic Alien Necklace

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

alien necklace
This necklace is holographic and psycho-futuristic. I just made that word up. I hope it goes viral. But in a good way. Not in a “scratch all night and it forms blisters” kind of way. Not only will this Holographic Alien Necklace look good on your neck. It will also make you dress up like a sexy future girl and twirl your hair as you kneel on a holographic floor.

You can’t say that about every necklace. I guess technically, it’s a choker, so aliens will be choking you. I guess you won’t mind because you will be looking so super-retro-back to the future-fly-sup-world that you won’t even care. Cool for you. Just bring me back a pair of those glasses. Please?
alien necklace

Shark Attack Hoodie Dress

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

shark attack hoodie dress
Well call me chum and dump me in the ocean! If every shark looked as cute as this one I’d be blogging from a boat and fishing all day long. Are those fishnets she’s wearing with this Shark Attack Hoodie Dress? Very appropriate. And hey, nice back fin! Mind if I swim up beside you and attach myself like one of those weird ride-along fish?

Hey, wanna play Adventure Time? You be Fin, I’ll be Jake. Get it? Fin? I know. I know. Bad joke. Gil-ty as charged!

Okay, I’m out! Gotta call a cardiologist and a weatherman, cuz you a Sharknado and ya just stole my heart.

Drinks With Death Halloween Fascinator

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Drinks With Death
This Drinks With Death Halloween Fascinator doesn’t scare me. I’ll drink death under the table. ANOTHER! *Slams shot glass down on the table. Wipes my lips with my arm. Stares intently at death. Then passes out and hits the table after the first drink.*

This fun Halloween Fascinator (That’s a fancy word for putting absurd things on your head.) has a drunken skeleton clutching a cherry-topped cocktail and a light-up brain. Which describes the end of my work day pretty well actually. He’s even laying in the same position, except I’m clutching my computer, not a brain. There are also two eyeballs.
Read more “Drinks With Death Halloween Fascinator”

I’d Tap That Beer Goggles

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

beer goggles
Some guys need like 40 drinks until they have their beer goggles on. Me? I just wear these I’d Tap That Beer Goggles while entering the place. I’m not picky. You know it and I know it. Let’s do this thing.

But if you still need like a keg to turn me into Ryan Gosling I understand. I’ll just wait somewhere you can’t see me until you are good and drunk, then I’ll introduce myself and we will meet again for the first time. Cool?

Black Cat Felted Scarf

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Black Cat Felted Scarf
This Black Cat Felted Scarf looks like someone pumped Mr. Whiskers up cartoon style with a bicycle pump and popped him with a pin, then shrugged and just draped it around their neck.

Don’t get me wrong, it looks awesome and kind of evil, but also very deflated and traumatized. It looks like it even has whiskers.

Winter is coming. Don’t be caught out in the cold without Mr. Pussums around your neck. That’s what my mom used to say anyway. Which is why I have so many cat scratches around my neck and why my hat rack has a cat house on top.