Something weird is going on with the goats in Argentina. Like this baby goat for instance. It was born sporting a demon face that kind of looks like Krampus. The goat stillborn and scared the bejesus out of observers so much that they called the police to investigate. The police were probably like, “Uhhh. That’s damn ugly. You on your own!” then left.
https://youtu.be/kSoAVo0OJsc
The rest of the body appeared pretty normal, but the face? Fuggin Fugly. I can’t look anymore.
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Tag: goat
Rocking Taxidermy Goat
If the goat is rockin’ don’t come a knockin’. This Rocking Taxidermy Goat is definitely rocking. He’s pretty horny too, meaning that he has great big horns. Not meaning the other thing. What did you think I was implying? *Sigh.* That really get’s my goat. Get’s my goat and gets it rocking. The seller named it Mason. Obviously they never set it free, because that would have made him a Freemason. Can’t have that. Also, you can’t free something that is dead, so there’s that. The seller says:
Mason the rocking goat has a 300 lb threshold. Even your drunk uncle Louie can go for a whirl.
First, how did you know I had a drunk Uncle Louie and second, no he can’t, cuz he is tipping the scales at 400.
WTF… GOAT STORY Mug
What kind of half-baked hipster mysticism is this? The “Goat Story Mug” is a horn-shaped vessel like the vikings would have drank from,… If Vikings were wusses that could only conquer goats. You are supposed to drink coffee out of it. Maybe to pretend you have slain a goat in between your artisanal lunch and the daily upkeep of your man-bun. I have no idea. It has no handle.You can’t even set it on your desk. Instead you’re supposed to carry it with some kind of feminine wrist strap or purse strap attachment. So what the hell is the goat story? Don’t trust a hipster? Tell us something we don’t know. Here’s my goat story:
Once upon a time people had coffee cups. Like female CB using truck drivers, they had a handle and a flat bottom. Everyone was happy as they drank from this amazing creation. And we don’t need no stinking goat horn mugs! The end.
Elven Warrior Lamb Taxidermy
You aren’t a man until you have ridden an Elven Warrior Lamb into bahhhhh-ttle and lived to tell the tale. They are fierce beasts with unicorn horns and a woolly resolve.
It’s really weird too, because “on the lamb” means on the run, so when your battle commanders shouts “on the lamb, now you idiots” people just run. That’s probably why our LARPing guild only needs one of these guys.
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