This The Rituals of Cthulhu Throw Blanket looks warm and cozy. You know what the sleeping rituals of Cthulhu are? Well, he likes to spoon, he likes to be spooned and gyrate his hips, sleep on his side with his knees up so he’s poking you with his knees, sometimes he curls up in the fetal position and sucks his thumb. Those are the rituals of the great tentacled one. Stay warm my friends.
Tag: h.p. lovecraft
Necronomicon Leather Book Purse
Remember kids, reading is fundamental. But reading the Necronomicon is just plain mental. This Necronomicon Leather Book Purse is a good way to get yourself in trouble. Maybe it makes the whole world zombies. Maybe it opens a portal so that Cthulhu and his kind can enslave us all. Maybe it creates a world where dogs and cats get along. Whatever happens, nothing good is gonna come out of this book/purse.
Ohhhhh, except for that lipstick. That shade is to die for. Where’d you get it? I wish I could wear that, my complexion is just too pale. You go girl!
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Lovecraftian Horror Portal
Getting hungry. I’ll just make myself a nice little healthy salad with some- WHAT IN THE TENTACLED HELL? WHAT FOUL DEMON POURS INTO THIS REALITY FROM YONDER PORTAL? Oh, it’s just another Lovecraftian horror. Phew. Ever since I got this Lovecraftian Horror Portal, horrors have been busting in like Kramer on Seinfeld. *Quickly makes a sandwich. Tentacles scoop it up and retreat back where they came from.*
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Necronomicon Cuff Bracelet
This Necronomicon Cuff Bracelet aka Necronomicuff is pretty sweet. It’s based on the works of H.P. LovesCuffs who also wrote The Cuffs of Cthulhu. It’s pretty cool. Definitely the in fashion statement of the year. It’s perfect to wear to this years Necronomi-con too. I just made that up, so if it ever exists, someone’s gonna owe me money. You read it here first.
I would buy two of these cuffs and wear one on each wrist, so I can deflect bullets with them like Wonder Woman. Pew pew pew! I’m magic! Ow! My wrists! *Falls to knees crying.*
Cthulhu Polo Shirt
If I actually went to an office everyday, I would wear this Cthulhu Polo Shirt. It proclaims your allegiance to Cthulhu while keeping things casual. But I don’t go to the office.
No office can contain me, cuz I work my ass off and rise to the top. I’m the cream baby! I’m the American dream! This wolf is on Wall Street. Werewolf that is! ARF! ARF! WHO GOT MY STOCKS? MY MONEY DOUBLES ON A FULL MOON! I’m trying to say I’m a real go-getter! Cuz I spend half my day going to get coffee, donuts, chips, pie… I don’t need no stinkin’ office to pass out in when my sugar coma hits. My couch works just fine.
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