Tag: halloween

August Body Mirror With Skull

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August Body Mirror With Skull

This August Body Mirror With Skull is a tall mirror. Why you can only use it in August, I have no idea. But I’m a rebel. A rule breaker. I will use the s**t out of this mirror in July! Maybe in June too. What do you think about that? BAM! That’s what’s up!

If you like skull decor, this mirror will make sure that there’s always a skull looking at you while you ask if you are too fat. And compared to him you will be. He’s all bones. *sigh* I need positive reinforcement. I also need some waist reinforcement. Time for a new belt! I think I’m gonna need a wider mirror too.

Creepy Jumping Spider Face Mask

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Creepy Jumping Spider Face Mask
Excuse me while I put on this Creepy Jumping Spider Face Mask and jump around the room, freaking everyone out. Behold my giant mandibles and spider-hair! Hey, spiders have hair! Why don’t they ever do anything with it? You never see a spider with a mohawk. Or a well-trimmed beard. I think that would make them even more scary. They need little spider beauty salons.

Spider mask,
Spider mask,
I’ll wear it whenever a human asks.

Spin a web, out my butt
Jump around like a spider nut.

Look Out!
Here comes the Spiderman.
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Interior Frighting: Crazy Skeleton Chandelier

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Interior Frighting Crazy Skeleton Chandelier
This Skeleton Chandelier is made from plastic and bone molds. Only hang this up if your house has good bones. Get it? Pretty cool chandelier though. I find those bones humorous. *Crickets chirp* I’m just ribbin’ ya. This thing is perfect for any home, but especially if your house already looks like it came out of a horror movie.

*Sits down to eat dinner. Jaw bone falls from the ceiling and sinks into mashed potatoes. Shakes fist at chandelier. Picks bone out and goes back to eating.*
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Snail Shell Helmet Will Make You Slow And Slimy

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Snail Shell Helmet Will Make You Slow And Slimy
Wanna be a slow and slimy warrior princess? Just wear the Snail Shell Helmet. Weird antenna things not included. You wear this and you’ll become a shell of your former self. Also, they’ll send it to you via snail mail. I do love this helmet though. They totally snailed it! You better make a snail trail to this helmet now before it’s gone- Oh wait. I turned my head and it barely moved an inch. Yeah, forget what I said. You have time.

Frankenstein Skull With Light Up Eyes

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Frankenstein Skull With Light Up Eyes
This Frankenstein Skull With Light Up Eyes will watch you like one of those paintings where the eyes seem to move. Stop looking at me Franky! The eyes can be any color LED lights you want. Trust me, it doesn’t matter what color you choose, it’s all gonna look creepy. I want to ask you something Dr. Frankenstein. Were those bolts on the side of the head really necessary? Are they holding up the foundation? Connected to load-bearing muscle mass or something? I really think you could have found an alternative to just using huge ass bolts. But what do I know? I don’t make monsters. I just marry them.

What? You thought that was a crack about my wife? I’ll have you know, I am an ordained minister and I work in Transylvania.
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