Tag: halloween

‘They Live’ Donald Trump Mask

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'They Live' Donald Trump Mask
No matter what you think of Donald Trump and his bid to be president, I think we can all agree that all of these guys are psychopaths, aliens and reptiles. It’s all about the new world order and the illuminati making us slaves and taking over the world. Which reminds me, I need to make a new tin-foil hat tonight, but all I have is Saran-Wrap.

Anyway, this ‘They Live’ Donald Trump Mask exposes one of the corporate elite for what they really are. A formaldehyde faced freak that just wants you to consume, obey, and stay asleep. Well, I’m not sleeping. I’m wide awake. Do you hear me? I’m wide awake and coming for you- Ohhhh! Dancing With The Stars is on. I’m off to make some popcorn!

Scary Laser Cut Necklaces

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Scary Laser Cut Necklaces
These Scary Laser Cut Necklaces from CuriologyLtd are so spooky and scary. They will turn your neck into a haunted scene that will turn heads a full 360 degrees like in The Exorcist. But don’t worry, they won’t spit green pea soup at you as they are admiring your necklace. These scenic necklaces are all laser cut. Not phaser cut. Laser cut. Phasers don’t cut well enough, cuz it’s just a phase, but lasers? Lasers will cut you and blind you and kill space aliens. They probably cut these with a friggin’ ray-gun. Pew pew pew! Look what I created!

They have black magic cats, spiders, all kinds of creepy neck wear.
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Vampire Bats Scientific Illustration Poster

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Vampire Bats Scientific Illustration Poster
Hang this Vampire Bats Scientific Illustration Poster on your wall and you will feel like a fancy bat scientist. You know what you call a Bat scientist? A Batman! Your assistant’s name could be Robin. Study this poster day and night and you will become smarter in the ways of the bat. The next step is building a bat cave. I think you know the rest. Using your billionaire resources to genetically alter your appearance until you are a bat. THEN you will be ready to fight crime.

Or you know, just enjoy this in your home.
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Bat Coin Purse

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Bat Coin Purse
The next time you’re hanging out in the cemetery and you need some change, just reach for your hand dandy bat coin purse that is wrapped around your arm. Why you would need change in a cemetery, I have no idea. Maybe they have vending machines there now. Been awhile since I hung out in graveyards. Too boring. It’s always so dead there. Vending machines would really help. That way you could also just leave coins for the dearly departed in case they need a snack. It wouldn’t be the first time a spirit has wandered aimlessly under the pale moonlight looking for a Baby Ruth. No biggie. I do that in my sleep all the time. Sometimes I actually manage to find one. One time I did wake up clutching a turd in a truck stop restroom though. I probably should curb my hunger.

When I get rich I’m so putting vending machines in cemeteries. They’ll leave the change for their loved ones and I’ll sweep it up every night. Put it in a giant pile and dive in it everyday. I’m so awesome. I love me. Gonna buy me something special when I get rich.
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Worst Action Figure Ever? John Carpenter’s The Fog

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Worst Action Figure Ever John Carpenter’s The Fog
SWEET! This John Carpenter’s The Fog action figure is gonna be the coolest in my collection. It’s highly articulated, fully lifelike and extremely detailed. That’s movie accurate right there son! The Fog is rolling in baby! You think your action figure is cool. Well fog you! This one is better. Just don’t open it or it will be lost forever!