Yeah, that about sums up marriage. This Headstone Wedding Cake Topper is a sinister reminder of what you are getting into. Funny story: I used to think that headstone meant something different, which is why I would go to cemeteries and wait all night for nothing to happen. Again, kind of like marriage. Anyway, enjoy your cake and endure your marriage.
Tag: cemetery
Wood Coffin Keychains
These Wood Coffin Keychains are perfect for your car keys. If you drive a hearse. Also perfect for your house keys. If you live in a funeral home. Better “dead” bolt that door once you get inside though. Also perfect for those keys that you have that are no longer useful. In other words, keys that are dead to you. Ha. I could go on all day, but I’m late for therapy. Once I showed up and it was shock therapy. Cuz the therapist was so shocked I got there on time.
Tombstone and Open Grave Ring
I love this Tombstone and Open Grave Ring from VonErickson, who also made these cool zombie graduation rings. The problem is, ever since I started wearing it, that open grave keeps filling up with corpses. I fall asleep and wake up to find a dead cockroach inside. I swat a fly on my arm and it lands right in the open grave. That’s all cool, but the tombstone gets new writing every time. When I killed that fly it read “Buzzkill”. When the cockroach was in there, it had the bug’s name along with a birth and death date and “Father of two million”. Crazy.
Cool Miniature Tombstones
These miniature tombstones are apparently for really tiny people. RIPman. RIP. If I had a tiny hat I would tip it and hold it to my heart. But I don’t. So instead, I’m pouring out some liquor for my tiny homies. Oh s**t, here comes the wife!
Were you just pouring liquor all over my tiny tombstones that are in the dirt for my potted plant?
Just honoring the homies. Don’t be a hater! Besides liquor makes plants grow quicker. Everybody knows that. Except for that shriveled up plant in the corner. That one couldn’t hold it’s liquor. What a pansie! Get it? Oh s**t, put down that vase!
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Victorian Cemetery Necklace with Tombstones
Now you can wear the dead around your neck with this Victorian Cemetery Necklace with Tombstones. RIP man. RIP. That means Rotting In Progress right? That’s what I always thought it meant. Seems legit. This necklace has a pretty creepy cemetery scene with some gravestones and a spooky old tree.
Did I ever tell you about my house that I bought for a dollar because it was in a graveyard? No? Turns out it’s called a mausoleum and I wasn’t supposed to be there. I thought that realtor looked like a bum! That’s okay. I totally flipped that property and sold it for $10 to another bum. WINNING!