Tag: halloween

Morbid Decor: Human Skull Planter

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Morbid Decor Human Skull Planter
This Human Skull Planter lets you grow your plants in a replica human cranium. It gives a whole new meaning to the term “pushing up daisies”. I think I would put some googly eyes on it though. And wrap a scarf around it’s base. Then again I’m pretty crazy. I do have a green thumb though. But that’s just from getting my hand caught in that vending machine. Stupid Snickers bar. Here’s a joke for ya:

How did this skull get framed? The evidence was planted! Obviously. Excuse me while I laugh at my own lame joke. Humor brought to you by the third grade. I never really left. Well, eventually I was forced to move on, but that’s all in the past. Or not.

Frankenberry, Boo Berry And Count Chocula Cereal Box Art

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Frankenberry, Boo Berry And Count Chocula Cereal Box Art
The best cereals have monsters on the box. Like this Frankenberry, Boo Berry And Count Chocula Cereal Box Art. I would hang this on my wall, but I already have the real boxes displayed on my hallway wall. The ants are just a bonus. I probably should have eaten the cereal first. I call it my hallway of cereal horrors.

Boo Berry is my favorite. He’s the ghost with the most! Calories. And sugar! Frankenberry is too flamboyant. He’s trying way too hard. The count? He’s alright. Decorate your walls with cereal dudes. Or if you have a speech impediment, “Surreal dudes”.

Cinema Killers Zip-Up Hoodie

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Cinema Killers Zip-Up Hoodie
Ever feel like you want to cover yourself in horror movie maniacs? This Cinema Killers Zip-Up Hoodie makes it possible. It features a collage of your favorite classic horror movie killers, like Michael Myers, Leatherface, Hellraiser, Hannibal Lecter, It the Clown and many more!

This is basically the scariest hoodie ever. It could only be scarier if it was made from the skin of all of these freaks. Damn, I’m dark. Did I just say that. No. That was the hoodie talking. I think it is possessing me. I have a strong urge to wear a hockey mask with a bladed glove.

Wine Coffin Display

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Wine Coffin Display
This Wine Coffin Display lets you display your wine in style. Break this baby open and drink up. Pretty soon you will be seeing the dead. Would you like some wine? But of corpse! The seller also says that you can display a doll inside, but a doll never got you blind stinking drunk, so I’ll go with the wine. Gonna drink until I’m embalmed with sweet wine and when I’m gone you can bury my liver in this coffin. It worked hard to get me where I am after all.
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Zipper Eyes Temporary Tattoos

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Zipper Eyes Temporary Tattoos
These Zipper Eyes Temporary Tattoos make it look like your eyes have zippers attached. I’ve never seen a woman who looks like this, but I have seen women desperately try to zip their eyes closed to no avail or hide under their hoodie so they wouldn’t have to date me. It’s a common defense against my nerd mating ritual. Zip that flesh back up girl, your exposed flesh is going to get cold. Mind if I call you Zippy? Ever go zip-lining? Oh BTW XYZ. That means Examine Your Zipper! Also, your fly is down. Your eye-fly. Haha.

I got a million zipper jokes. Minus one. Cuz it ain’t no joke when your Wing-Wang gets caught in in zipper teeth. And that’s why the zippers on my jeans are painted on. That’s not gonna happen to me again. A cat may have nine lives, but my wiener only has one.

I guess I got off track like an old zipper. Which is what I call an elderly guy in a bike race, but that’s beside the point. The point is, these temporary tattoos are cool. Also I find it sexy, cuz I’m strange. *Channels Whitney Houston and sings* Unzip my heartttttt! Say you’ll love me again…