Gothic Skull Vessel and Pen Set

Gothic Skull Vessel and Pen Set
Creeptastic! Holy Goth! This Gothic Skull Vessel and Pen Set will let you write all of your horror fan-fic, ransom notes, poison pen letters and other assorted weirdness. You get four skull-topped ink pens and a skeleton vessel to hold them in.

Man, I wish I had a skeleton vessel. “Full speed ahead!” I would shout from atop it’s spine, posed like George Washington leading the charge, as the skeleton beast walks toward the enemy. *Suddenly all of it’s bones shatter and leave me half-buried in a pile of bone.* “Damn you and your lack of calcium!”

Crystal Skull With A Spider Inside

spider skull
Looky looky, everybody stop your nooky. This crystal skull has a spider lodged in it’s cranium. I mean lodged, as in it has taken up residence, like a real roger-dodger-lodger. This insect is a drainium on the Cranium. He’ll make ya feel dull in the skull, see.

Wait, what? It’s not “talk like an old timey radio guy” day? I always get that wrong. That’s after “talk like a pirate” day and before “walk like a busy hooker after a long night” day. I just can’t keep up.

Anywho, this crystal skull has a spider stuck inside. Haha. You can’t get me, spider. Suck it! *The sound of glass shattering.* Oh poopy!
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Classic Monster Cereals With Modern Horror Movie Characters

Classic Monster Cereals With Modern Horror Movie Characters
Check out these Monster cereals with horror movie characters on the box. Minnesota-based artist Kate Willaert created these for HalloweenCostumes.com. They make for a not so balanced breakfast. The characters include: Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Krampus and more. Sometimes I hate the internet. I saw these and spent half a day trying to find them in like 10 stores, then I came home and read the wordstuff where I found them. Yeah. Not real. If only there were some way to take the internet with me when I’m out. That would save me a lot of time. Then there might be a reason for all of those people to stare at their phone while shopping. Idiots.
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Ewok Jumpsuits: No Head Needed

Ewok Jumpsuits
Get your Yub Nub on with these cool Ewok jumpsuits and then take your head off and freak people the hell out. These jumpsuits look creepy as hell with no head. Being a furry has never been so fun. You know, a furry, these people who like to dress up like furry animals and rub all up each other while quoting My Little Pony episodes or something.

Why did they blur out the hands and feet? Were they really afraid they would be recognized? Were they worried that a match would come up on the hands and feet database?

Barbed Wire Corner Spider Web

Barbed Wire Corner Spider Web
And I thought the spiders in my house were hardcore! This is a Barbed Wire Corner Spider Web. Probably made by some spider wearing a World War II helmet and carrying a rifle. Probably stacks it’s cocooned meals like sand bags. This is how prison spiders are too. Plus, they’ll shank you.

Nope. I don’t need that in my house. No way. No Mutha Effin curds and whey.