Tag: halloween

Skeleton Dinner Plates

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Skeleton Dinner Plates
Skeleton Dinner Plates. Winner, winner, X-Ray dinner. Perfect for a plate of ribs or some macabre-roni and cheese. “You’re not leaving the table until that pelvis is clean!” But mom! “No butts! That’s a tailbone.” You mean a coccyx! “What did you say young man? Go to your room!”

Mom falls for that every time.

These plates would be great for an old sailing ship with a minimal crew. You know why? Cuz they have a skeleton crew. Hahaha. I got a million of ’em. 206 to be exact. That’s how many bones are in the human body! Hahahhaahaha

Rock Lobster With Waves Hat

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Rock Lobster
Ladies and gentlemen, for one night only, I present…Rock Lobster and the Waves! Crowd goes wild.

I hate trying to pick up women wearing a Rock Lobster With Waves Hat. You gotta start with small talk, then turn the heat up real gently over a few hours until she’s ready. It’s too much work. And I’m no Don Juan Prawn. Besides, she makes too many waves. Treats me like a shrimp. Also very grabby and it hurts.

Real Preserved Spiderweb Pendant

Artemis Winterford3 Comments

Real Preserved Spiderweb Pendant
Want to wear a real spiderweb? I mean, I already wear them, but that’s only because a blogger seldom moves from their chair.You can wear a real spiderweb with this Real Preserved Spiderweb Pendant. It is genuine silky spider thread from the spider’s poop-sac, preserved in pressed glass and made into a pendant. Hopefully it won’t attract actual spiders who want to live there while you are wearing it.

If your name is Charlotte this is your web. Wear it Charlotte. Wear it.

Bat Wings Mug

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bat wings mug
Ugh! I need my morning coffee. Where are my glasses? Where’s my awesome Bat Wings Mug? I think that bat-shaped blob might be it. Grabs wings with both hands. *Eeeekkkk-Squeakkkk* Why are you fighting me? *Straining to hold it still and get it to my lips.* I just want coffee! Stop biting my lips! Ow! *Mug flies out the window.*

There are my glasses. *Puts them on.* Hey, there’s my Bat Wings Mug. Hmmmmm. I guess that’s what I get for living in a belfry. Better search “rabies” on Google again.

Blown Glass Spiders

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Blown Glass Spiders
Check out these creepy crawly glass spiders. Makes me picture a whole store full of these 8-legged demons. I hate spiders. Excuse me a moment while I go order Thor’s hammer online.

*Waits like 7 days because I’m too cheap to buy Amazon Prime.* Now I’m ready. *Bursts through the doors of the glass spider shop. Smashes everything in sight as glass flies everywhere, not stopping until every single spider is dead.* My work here is done. The world is a little safer now.
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