That’s Duct Up: Creepy Duct Tape Mask

duct tape maskWith this duct tape mask you can become the ultimate DIY villain. Just wear this mask, hang like 6 rolls of duct tape off your utility belt, put a strip of duct tape down the side of each pant leg like Han Solo, and hit the streets. How long do you think it’s going to be before Batman comes for you?

What’s that? You just don’t give a duct? Fair enough. At least allow me to give you a theme song. This is song to the tune of the Duck Tales theme, because I have found that to come in handy for all kinds of made up songs in my life. Here goes:

Do do do do do-to-da do oh Duct Man. Wooo-hooo.

It just repeats like that. I know, brilliant right? Cartoons are awesome. I learned a lot from that show. Scrooge McDuck also taught me that pants are completely optional. Of course the local Five-O taught me different, but that’s another story.

Hey, that’s a good name. Scrooge McDuct!

Maybe a Game of Thrones slogan: For the night is duct and full of terrors…

No? Whatevs. Go duct yourself.

Horror Movie Shrunken Heads

horror movie shrunken headsCheck out these shrunken heads of Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers and Sam. They aren’t going to be terrorizing anyone now. Not without a tiny body attached to those tiny shriveled heads.

However, I’m sure they still bite. So keep your fingers away from them.

Campbell’s Cream Of Chicken Feet Soup: Mmm Mmm No

cream of chicken feetThe good thing about this can of Campbell’s Cream Of Chicken Feet Soup is that you can use one of the talons to open the can.

Uh, thanks mom, but I don’t need any soup. I’m feeling much better now. Your choice of grocery store items has induced vomiting. As usual. You go ahead and enjoy yourself.
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Creepy Baby Doll Head String Lights

Creepy Baby Doll Head String LightsEtsy seller PrimAndGrim obviously has a real soft spot for making weird stuff. You know who else has a soft spot? Each one of those baby dolls. That’s where she jammed the lights into their heads. Now she probably hangs this string of brightly lit, decapitated rugrats up in her studio and performs weird Etsy rituals that summon buyers who have a taste for the strange.

I had a taste for the strange once. Wife solved that by clubbing me over the head a few hundred times. Now I only have eyes for her. That was a bonus true love story. Now I have a soft spot too.
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Jesus With Wings Night Light

jesus night lightHoly Lord and creepy savior! Let this Jesus night light protect you from all manner of boogeymen, ghosts and demons, who prowl the night. He will scare the hell out of them literally. Look at him all lit up, flapping his dragon wings while he rips his shirt off Superman style.

Who ya gonna call? Jesus. He is the original Ghostbuster!

More shots below.
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