Tag: home decor

Coffin Lipstick Holder

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Coffin Lipstick Holder
Is your foundation to die for? Does your mascara look murderous? Is your lipstick the balm? Embalmed? Then get the Coffin Lipstick Holder and let your makeup rest in peace. This is perfect for the creepy girl who has nowhere to store her many shades of black lipstick.

Remember girls, when you kiss a guy all over his face, he shouldn’t come up for air looking like a coal miner. Then again, how else is he gonna find a diamond like you? I know, I’m so sweet. Kiss away ladies. I’m available. Looks like it’s back to the coal mines for me. It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it.

Medical Anatomy and Oddities Pillow Case

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Medical Anatomy and Oddities Pillow Case
This Medical Anatomy and Oddities Pillow Case is just what I need for some late night reading before sleepy-time. No wonder I have nightmares. Read me a bedtime story…

There once was a medical quack
who lived in a old wooden shack
He took out his spleen
and washed it all clean
then kissed it and put it back.

Cuz he’s weird. The end.
Read more “Medical Anatomy and Oddities Pillow Case”

Ouija Board Tea-Towel

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Ouija Board Tea-Towel
Are you enjoying your tea? Excellent. Now it is time to consult the oracle that I like to call the Ouija Board Tea-Towel. Place it flat on the table please. Now we shall use a cups as a planchette.

Oh Ouija towel, doorway to spirits, what say you to this realm? *cup begins to move just as the guest spills tea all over the table.* Damn it! *Cleans it up with the Ouija towel.* Now we’ll never know what it was gonna say.

Spooky Crystal Balls

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Spooky Crystal Balls
It takes balls to see into the future. Crystal balls that is. These crystal balls are all smokey and creepy with images floating inside. Sweet! This will help me become a fortune teller. I see an eye. I see a skull. I see a raven. I also see that there’s a lunch special at that place across the street. Well, hurry up and pay me. I gotta eat!

Dragon Skull Beeswax Candle

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Dragon Skull Beeswax Candle
Cool Dragon Skull Beeswax Candle dude! Mind your own beeswax!

If you light it, they will come. Huh? Who’s that? If you light it, they will come. Uhhhhh. That’s the first time the voices ever said that. *Shrugs and lights my awesome dragon candle.* Weird. It’s getting all dark and stormy outside. Sounds like wings flapping. And shrieks. *Watches as a dragon busts through the window pane. Another bursts out of the fireplace. And the front door. Then the Kool-Aid man breaks through the wall shouting, “Oh yeah!”*

Oh f**k! What have I done?